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Success: Perfection or Productivity?

Published on September 22, 2016September 23, 2016 by thelifemebloggerLeave a comment

Have you ever wondered how someone with more responsibilities or demands is able to achieve more of their goals than you do? No, they are not perfect, alien, or some breed of human meets robot. Simply, they are probably just more highly productive and efficient than you.

Now, if only we could be as perfect as they are then our lives would be better and we would be happy, right? That’s hard to say. So, let’s talk about this.

According to Merriam-Webster and Oxford dictionaries, perfection is defined as

“having no mistakes or flaws”
“completely correct or accurate”
“having all the qualities you want in that kind of person, situation, etc.”
“having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be”
“free from any flaw or defect in condition or quality; faultless”

Is perfection really attainable? And what exactly does perfection look like for me? These questions are complicated in the basic sense that we may all inevitably have different definitions of perfection. To further complicate the matter, shouldn’t we be looking at what “perfect” is for us based on our goals, dreams, values, and convictions, and not at what perfection looks like in other people? Well, this is exactly what make this all an on-going challenge.

Ultimately, we are all striving for some form of perfection. Although we logically know that (1) no one person is perfect and that (2) perfection is fleeting and hard to maintain, we still have this idea of perfection planted somewhere in our heads. The idea alone is not the problem. Rather, the problem lies in what happens to us emotionally when we recognize that we are not presently perfect and may never achieve perfection.

I really don’t know who sold us this dream of perfection because it definitely wasn’t the Disney films we watched as a child. Even those characters experienced some kind of problems along the way! The movie endings were always perfect for them, but never what they envisioned when they started out. In life, we make these long lists that embody the full vision and wish lists of perfection. They assume the idea that if we can find or discover everything on our lists then life will be complete, happy, or whole. For most of us, happiness is connected to being as close to perfection as possible. However, success is rarely perfect and the road to success is not perfection either.

For the sake of discussion, let’s just hypothetically consider that we have achieved perfection. Yay! Pat yourself on the back! Well, not for too long because as we grow, change, and learn, our personal definition of perfection will change. It is like a never ending race that can become overwhelming, stressful, discouraging, depressing, and anxiety-producing.

However, there is hope!

Recently, I have been contemplating what my emotional and mental idea of perfection looks like. There’s going to be a lot going on in my life and I will not be already to plan for or guarantee perfection.

In the past I would get down on myself when I would make long goal and to-do list only to not get everything done. Thankfully, my Life Me mindset kicked in and I now have a great list of life hacks, edits, and simple changes which have enabled me to get more of the things done that I want and need to get done! Yet, it is still not perfection. However, before these hacks I would really feel emotionally defeated at the fact that I was not accomplishing everything, everyday, in every month as I wanted to for reasons both within and outside of my control (Let me know if you’d like me to share those tips. Just leave a comment below or message me on Facebook or Twitter).

For the moment, I’m focusing on how to be as highly productive and efficient with my days as possible as opposed to having a “perfect” day. For me, productivity and efficiency is my new idea of perfection—a slight adjustment that has made the world of mental and emotional difference for me.

Through some time of planning and reflection, I figured it out! My mindset needed a shift if I planned on climbing the mountain of success effectively. So for the moment, I’m focusing on how to be as highly productive and efficient with my days as possible as opposed to having a “perfect” day.

For me, productivity and efficiency is my new idea of perfection—a slight adjustment that has made the world of mental and emotional difference. It has re-framed how I feel about my days, the intention in which I attack each day, and how I focus on things throughout my day. It has resulted in me actually accomplishing more in each new day than I thought I could. I now ask myself…

What will productivity look like today?
What do I need to get accomplished?
What can I do/change to be more productive?

The goals haven’t changed; however, the approach has. If you adopt this mindset just know that there will be things that cannot be controlled completely through a pre-planned list and vision for the day. There are constantly things, such as work, family, friends, life, people, biological factors (sleep, health, nutrition), and weather, that either add to our daily “productivity list” or interfere with our ability to completely focus on the things we have set as priorities. But, that’s OK. If and when these matters arise, we can quickly recalculate how to handle them by determining when and how handling them would be the most efficiently and effective way possible. Some matters can wait, sometimes you can give yourself permission to say no, and other times, you might need to shift something to quickly handle life’s interruption.

Accepting that everyday will never be perfect is the first step to being more productive and happy. If I am being highly productive, using my time effectively, and placing optimal focus on the steps that bring me closer to my goals, then I am having the perfect day. That makes me extremely happy!

Some are still holding out hope that a magical unicorn will fall from the sky and reveal the secret to perpetual perfection. Until that happens, we can all strive to be as close as we can to achieving highly productive days. Before you know it each day will add up and you will look up to see that you’ve almost accomplished your goal(s)!

Questions to ask yourself:

Am I being productive?
Am I doing things that bring me closer to my goals or am I doing things that pull me away from my goal?
Am I focused on the things that I should be focused on?
Am I wasting time on things that are not necessary?
Am I spending too much time on things or people that will not increase my chances of achieving the vision of life I want to live?

Remember, success comes one deliberate step at a time and one productive day at a time.

And remember, productive days include time to manage stress and take care of your health — a healthy body and mind increases productivity!

Discussion: Talk to me! 😁

What are some ways you stay focused on your goals? What are some tips and tricks you use to stay productive? How do you protect your productivity? Please share below or come chat with me on Facebook and Twitter!

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Photo Credit: _dChris

My First Trip to Las Vegas: Is It Worth the Hype?

Published on March 15, 2016March 15, 2016 by thelifemeblogger3 Comments

After returning from my first trip to Las Vegas, I was tasked with answering the usual post-vacation question– “how was it?” People who have never been to Las Vegas were secretly curious about whether I would divulge my “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” stories. Just how wild and crazy did this little lady right here get in Vegas? They didn’t have to come right out and say it, but I know they secretly wanted to know.

On the other hand, my other friends that previously visited Vegas were more curious about how I digested everything the infamous city had to offer. Well, for everyone wondering how my first trip to Las Vegas went, or for any other Las Vegas virgins out there that may have lived a slightly sheltered life like me, fasten your seat belts as we enter my version of wild and crazy– more like “obeying the speed limit”– edition to Vegas.

But, don’t worry! Although I didn’t personally live on the wild side, I got a solid understanding of where the wild side begins and ends in Vegas. Simply, here are my thoughts about Las Vegas:

There is something in Vegas for everyone — the old, young, boring, wild, mellow, sheltered, and daredevils, respectively. Vegas is what you choose to make it. If you want wild and crazy, there’s a place for you. If you want relaxed and chill, then there’s a place for you too! Let’s just say that I saw entire families with kids, the elderly, and everyone in between enjoying parts of The Strip. Like I said, there’s a place for everyone.

Overall, after sorting out my feelings, the pros, and the cons, I can definitely say I will be back!

Oh Las Vegas, you are very different, but I like you a lot.

Here are some more details and pictures from my trip. Enjoy!

Lights, lights, lights: To be expected, The Strip was grand, bright, and full of food options, fashion, entertainment, people, characters, and lots of bright lights. If I’m being totally honest, I should admit that I was very underwhelmed in my first hour in Vegas. I checked into the hotel around 7:30pm from the backside, right behind The Strip. I was expecting to see more people, more madness, more… I don’t know, but it just wasn’t what I expected. The area just seemed like any other city. I couldn’t wrap my head around the hype in the first hour. But then again, I had not yet hit The Strip. I could see the bright lights from my hotel but it seemed surprisingly normal from where I stood. The Mr. had traveled to Vegas numerous times, so he kept reassuring me to “wait until we get to The Strip.” What was lying right outside the front of the hotel started to sound exciting. So, ?I let go of the early judgement and decided to give The Strip a chance to woo me. Once we walked onto The Strip, it slowly started to make more sense…

Everything is bigger, brighter, and louder in Vegas. As I walked along The Strip slowly taking in the first night, there was so much to see that I couldn’t capture it all. As I tried to reconcile my preconceptions with the reality of Vegas, I spent most of my first night feeling out The Strip and determining whether we would make a good fit.

Behind the lights and inside the resorts and malls were just as ornate and grand views as presented on the outside. It’s a game of who can do it bigger and better, and I liked it. For example, all images below were taken INSIDE buildings. Yes, even the gondola ride and what looks like a statue beneath a blue sky! (hover over the image for exact locations).

INSIDE Chandelier Lounge @ The Cosmopolitan Hotel Las Vegas

INSIDE Paris Las Vegas

Chandelier Lounge @ The Cosmopolitan Hotel Las Vegas

INSIDE Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino

Freedom of Alcohol: Did you know that Nevada allows people to walk around with open containers, cocktails, and “refreshments” in Las Vegas and on The Strip? Also, did you know that the casinos serve free unlimited drinks (small tip per drink if you wish) as you sit and gamble? Well, I definitely had no idea! And this my friends is one reason why I say Vegas is what you make it. If you want to walk around drinking 24 hours of the day, in the shower, on the street, in restaurants, and even in your bed, you can. If you’re a more occasional drinker like myself, there’s a place for you too.

Casinos everywhere, obviously: There are casinos and smaller places to gamble everywhere– in most hotels, the airport, smaller establishments. Everywhere! This should be obvious, right? Then again, it’s Vegas! This is the second reason why I say Vegas is what you make it. However, you had better have a good idea of what you are willing to gamble and LOSE in Vegas or else you may find yourself crying on a curb because you “lost it all!” Rule of thumb: Don’t gamble what you can’t afford to lose. Personally, I had fun on the penny slots and the machine version of Craps– which I taught myself laying in bed on the second morning there. Call me boring but I wasn’t willing to risk too much money, if any at all. Overall, I did pretty well on Craps!🙂

The only thing I wasn’t quite prepared for in the casinos was the cigarette smoke. I’ve become accustomed to living in Boston with quite strict laws on where people can/cannot smoke — mostly not in buildings. Well, all casinos that I visited allowed indoor smoking. Luckily the ceilings are very high and there is pretty good ventilation so it doesn’t linger on your clothes when you leave! However, if someone chooses to sit at a machine next to you and light one up, there is nothing you can say to the person. If I don’t go back to Vegas, this would be the one small factor to blame. I had tons of fun in the casinos, but I don’t want to die from second-hand smoke. If you are a smoker, Vegas is your heaven. I guess I will have to not become too paranoid about the health of my lungs if I want to spend my days winning big bucks in the casinos!

Paris Las Vegas Hotel and Casino

Dress comfortably, especially in the daytime: I was a little worried about how to dress before arriving. My perception of Vegas was filled with images gathered from celebrity social media feeds, reality shows, movies, and the various bachelor/bachelorette party photos posted on my friends’ social media feeds. One thing I knew for sure was I didn’t feel like wearing party dresses and heels all day every day! Thank God for the Mr and other friends telling me to pack some cute comfortable outfits. Why? Well, (1) The Strip is every long, (2) most places require you to walk, (3) the hotels are so large you will inevitably need to walk a lot within the resort, and (4) sometimes you just want to be comfortable! Unless you are going to a particular event, party, club, restaurant, or you simply prefer the high fashion life, do not feel obligated to dress up in your best party outfit every day. I kept it casual in the day and only dressed up based on which restaurant or lounge I was going to at night. Since we went in late February, the weather was not even close to peak heat-wave summer temperatures. It was about 73-74 degrees in day and 55-60 degrees in the evenings– too hot for long sleeves in the day and too cold for short-sleeves in the evening. There were awkward shifts of temperature, but I made it work.

Daylight Time is Just as Fun: Vegas definitely comes to life at night. When I went to bed at 1am/2am Vegas time (4am/5am back home), Vegas was still very, very, very alive! I felt like an old grandma going to bed that early, but we can thank jet-lag for that. Personally, I love seeing new things and enjoying the beauty of a city, so daytime walks and adventures are just as appealing to me as romantic nightly dinners.

I thought Vegas would be dead in the day, but I was absolutely wrong! I must say I loved daytime and nighttime Vegas equally as much.

Bellagio Luxury Resort and Casino

Beyond the lights is desert, mountain-views, and lots of adventure and beautiful landscapes!

Bellagio Luxury Resort and Casino

Bellagio Luxury Resort and Casino

INSIDE Paris Las Vegas

Flamingo Las Vegas has real flamingos!

The Food is Amazing, everywhere: The good thing about having a lot of businesses competing with one another is that close competition makes everyone put their best foot forward! There were many different food options at every price range on The Strip. If you want fast-food chains, you got it. If you want to pig out at a buffet, there’s a home for you. If you want average priced food from a restaurant, bar, or lounge, you better not suffer from indecision. And finally, if you want to go all out on a upscale fancy restaurant, there’s plenty of options. Vegas understands that people like to drink and will also need to eat to sober up! With that said, food options are available 24/7.

In addition, most hotels will give you a credit to cover breakfast so that you only have to worry about lunch, snacks, dinner, and drinks. I don’t want to bore you with the food porn pictures from all the places I ate, but I must shout out one amazing meal that I had at Ruth’s Chris– a very upscale establishment worth every penny! The steak alone ranks at the top of the list for best meals ever eaten at any restaurant in my life! Post Ruth’s Chris, we grabbed cupcakes from Sprinkles– also one of the best cupcakes I’ve had in my life.

The smoke in the casinos could keep me from returning to Las Vegas, but the amazing food might offset the risk of second-hand smoke. Hmm, dilemma– die early or die happy?

Deals: As soon as you hit the hotels on or off The Strip, people are trying to lure you with a deal, discount, and entertainment of all sorts. As soon as I entered the hotel, I saw slots, tables, lights, and then boom– a lovely welcoming committee. I thought it was the hotel check-in staff, but I was mistaken. It was a friendly group trying to get me to go to a time-share presentation at one of the neighboring properties. Feeling duped, I initially declined and found my way to check-in. Despite the initial annoyance, there were many great deals available. From shows to food to gambling to cocktails and adventures, there were lots of discounts and deals everywhere.

One weird things that caught me off guard were the people in the streets clicking small flyers at me. About every 100 steps, someone would click a flyer at the people walking by. On it was a picture of a naked girl or exotic dancer and the location of places you can go to enjoy the X-rated landscapes. I personally declined, but I’m sure one of you out there might want to walk on the wild side.

You might meet/see the range of random to the famous on one street: I had the pleasure of meeting and talking with Steve Wynn– CEO of Wynn Resorts Unlimited (developer of Wynn Properties, the Mirage, Bellagio, Treasure Island, Encore, and more)– and his wife Andrea for about 30 minutes on our second night in Vegas. It was such a wonderful and inspiring conversation! I am sure if I went to more of the top clubs in Vegas I might have run into some other popular celebrities, but clubs are not my style and I am not a fan girl.

There were other famous figures randomly sprinkled throughout The Strip — Iron Man, Superman, Walter White from Breaking Bad, and many more. Only issue is that all the latter were normal people dressed up like characters who want to charge you for taking a picture with them. If odd characters aren’t weird enough, the homeless people on The Strip will be very alarming. I actually witnessed a homeless man steal some items from the front of a Walgreens and run out being chased by the store’s staff. It reminded me that everything that glitters is not gold. Beneath the hype, wealth, success, and fame hides many people in our communities that need serious help and hope.

Summary: Overall, my perception of Vegas before the trip matched only 25% of what I actually discovered during my first trip. I know there was probably a lot of drugs, high-roller gambling, violence, and lots of “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” rendezvouses and sex happening right before my blinded eyes. But like I said, Vegas is what you make of it. One thing I know about myself is that I love happy adventures but I don’t like wild and crazy. By the end of the trip, Vegas and I figured out how to co-exist. As stated earlier…

Oh Las Vegas, you are very different, but I like you a lot.

P.S. When I return, I would love to visit Downtown and old Las Vegas and the Fremont Street Experience. I’ve heard that both are just as exciting as The Strip!

Until next time…

Have you visited Las Vegas? What were your thoughts? What places should I check out if I go back?

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Somewhere in the skies on the way to Las Vegas.

Why Focusing In Life is So Hard

Published on February 18, 2016March 7, 2016 by thelifemeblogger1 Comment

You want to know why it’s so hard to focus on your own life and ride your own wavelength of zen? Well, I re-discovered the answer today. Wait for it… Wait for it…

It’s because everyone around you is so DARN LOUD!

The Setting

I wrote this post yesterday during a fit of frustration on the plane to a hopefully calming vacation in Las Vegas while attempting to read My Age of Anxiety by Scott Stossel amidst the cackles and clangor of inebriated passengers as they become new found airline besties.

The Story (and Lesson):

Listen, I’m all for freedom of friendliness, libation, and acquaintance; but by golly, do they have to be so LOUD? Then again this is a country built on freedom of speech, so who am I to tell the new found besties to sacrifice their hyperactive happiness for my peace and serenity. I mentally rummaged through all the fine print I read inside the safety manual. There was a lot of reassuring information about oxygen masks, life vests, safety devices, and “in the event of an emergency” situations, but nothing about being courteous to your neighbors. But wait, isn’t this an emergency? Am I not being forced to sacrifice my page-turning enjoyment to listen to the loudest passengers that have ever flown on a plane, ever? Doesn’t that warrant some kind of rescuing?

With no way to politely ask these chatty birds to pipe down, I decided to make something of this experience and share the lessons this noise has forced me to tackle. What else am I supposed to do? Do you want me to risk a confrontation, get booted off the plane, and possibly get arrested because I had to defend myself against one of these tipsy passengers when they try to punch my lights out? No! I am saying no to violence and that’s my final answer, for now. Instead, I will take a deep breath and patiently hoped for some desperately annoyed passenger to do what I don’t have the gumption to do — ask them to shut up! Oops, I mean to “please, if you would be so kind, might you quiet down a bit?”

As I become more and more frustrated by each screech and shout, the feeling inside reminds me of moments in my life when I’ve felt trapped, frustrated, limited, and a victim of other people inserting noise into my rather happy place. Those were times when I found it most difficult to focus on my journey. Right now, I would do anything to be able to go into my own head and turn up the selective attention dial to “I can’t hear you” mode but nothing is a match for the voices of Godzilla. The more I think about ways I can tune these various conversations out is the more anxious and tense I am becoming. Under other circumstances I would have reveled in the opportunity to eavesdrop on the fascinating conversations around me. Honestly, they are discussing interesting interpretations of life. The two new buddies behind me are shifting in and out of intellectual conversations about love, relationships, passion, religion, happiness, spirituality, God, and new places to experience once we reached our destination. Our other friends across the isle are adding to the noise with topics including food, TV shows, etc. The problem isn’t them per se — well maybe it is because there is no need to shout at the top of your lungs if someone is sitting right next to you– but it is more the fact that I am not in the mood to listen to their stories at this volume at this moment. I want to read my book during this flight and then reflect on life.

Though quite terrifying– if you really think too hard about it– there’s something quite calming and spiritual about flying. The views, the perspective, and the fact that my life is in the hands of complete strangers surrounded by complete strangers for hours while thousands of feet above the ground is both unsettling and kind of magical. That is until turbulence hits and I am reminded that death could be imminent. Oddly, I am sure that fewer planes have crashed from turbulence than during take off or landing, but I could be wrong. Anyone know? Well, just as a wrote this paragraph I can report that I am entering the first phase of a full on panic attack, so let’s change the subject back to the chatterboxes behind me.

As I said before, in my mind this plane ride included a specific plan for my time– me, God, reflection, and a book, not writing a blog post about my frustration with the noise. I’m sure I would have found “the best method for tuning out deafening voices” in the book about anxiety but I was only able to get to page 32 before the voices of Godzilla destroyed my focus. Still annoyed but determined, I am deciding to start talking to myself — in a healthy way. “You’re stronger than this. Don’t let them distract you. You had a goal in mind, so stick to it!” Typically I would be completely oblivious to the loud mouths around me as they are drowned out by my music or a movie. However, I forgot my headphones this time! Thankfully my other-better-equal half is always thinking ahead and he brought an extra pair. Nonetheless, I didn’t planned on plugging my ears with noise-cancelling headphones; I planned on having an intellectually stimulating experience with my books. As you can surmise by now, their volume has reached the decibel that would interrupt even the most focused person’s brain frequencies! So, I am taking the headphones, but it is still not working.

I am asking myself over and over, “Why is it so hard to just focus? Why can’t you just push through? Is it really that hard to tune them out or are you just being petty?” Feeling defeated, I am reminded of the times in my life when I felt overwhelmed by the noise around me — times I’ve been focused on something in my life and then every voice begins playing in my head (again, not in the DSM-5 diagnosis kind of way). They are the times in which all the negative, positive, confused, logical, irrational, intellectual, and analytical voices/thoughts tell me how to be confident, worried, certain, and fearless all in the same frequency. Ay dios mios! As my mind is shifting to those moments when I’ve asked the same question –“Why is it so hard to just focus?” — I am beginning to recognize a parallel between my focus, life, and the challenge of tuning out noise. I am not sure I really want to confront it, but here goes. Simply realized, the more voices and noise in my head– including my own at times– is the more difficult it is for me to focus on my own life and my own journey.

Some noises are louder than others — fear, other people’s opinions, opposing viewpoints, societal and family expectations, cultural norms, and internal self-talk. At times, it can just be too loud, too confusing, too opposing, too headache producing, and too tiring to combat. Although annoyed at my clangorous neighbors, I am happy that I had the chance to look myself in the mirror and confront factors that at times make it hard for me to focus. Although a critical exercise, confronting these factors one time on a plane is not going make me a master at tuning out the loudest noises in my life. It is going to require mental maturity and mental martial arts!

Today, I am reminded that I have a lot more work to do. It would be great to block out the noise by creating a magical force-field around my head, but I’m sure that would not prevent me from concocting some ridiculous thinking within my own head.

Today, I have learned two things:

I now understand why people invest in quality noise-cancelling headphones,
no matter how noise cancelling the headphones, it’s much harder to cancel out the noise that exist — or you allow to exist — inside your own head, and
be ready to listen and adapt when life speaks.

The good news is that this lesson has made me more of a noise-cancelling ninja and our neighbors alcohol consumption has finally caught up to them! The four amigos are quietly resting. Maybe now I can get back to focusing on my book or at least enjoying the remaining moments of this amazing view in peace and quiet.

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Get Lost (Every Once in a While…)

Published on February 15, 2016February 15, 2016 by thelifemebloggerLeave a comment

“Beep. Beep!” The church vans pulls up and I know for sure that if one particular person is driving the van that week, we were in for an adventure. Working on a weekly rotation, each driver offered a variety of excitement each week. Whether it was leaving a church member because they were taking too long to come out of their house or knocking off side mirrors of cars parked along narrow streets, each week was an experience. However, looking back on those times one person’s interesting driving taught me more about life than I ever realized until now.

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending a moving-away party for two very special people at my childhood church. Besides the million questions people asked about where I’ve been and what I’m up to now, it was a lovely event. I knew in advance there was going to be a “tribute” portion of the event, so of course I felt like I had to prepare to say something to this amazing couple (that has happened to know me since birth). Do you know how hard it is to capture everything you want to say about people you’ve known your entire life in TWO MINUTES!? Yes, we only had two minutes because the organizers of the event wanted to prevent a luncheon from turning into an all-night open mic night from 150 people. And to no one’s surprise, everyone spoke way past two minutes. But I digress.

As I thought about all the memories I had of this amazing couple — which are many — the church van rides stuck out when it came to David; it perfectly captures who he is. After riding in the van every week for years, I felt like I knew how to get to everyone’s house and how to drive despite having never set foot behind the wheel. If my 13 year old self ever needed to advise the grown-ups on directions, I was your girl. However, whenever David drove I was lost, confused, slightly scared, and very intrigued.

Confusing turns and back road adventures painted the majority of David’s weekly drive. Yet, somehow we always managed to efficiently and quickly reach the next destination. To avoid lights, get to the next destination with as little traffic as possible, he would take these back roads that my inexperienced mind never knew of. Turn after turn after turn, I was convinced we were lost and going to make it to church way past on-time. Whenever I felt we had taken too my turns to possibly be heading in the right direction, I either whispered to someone or publicly questioned — “are we lost?” David’s response ranged from “no” to “not quite,” but there was never a “yes.” As if he had branded a map of the city in his head, we would some how magically appear at our next destination. We never got lost… (that he every admitted)!

At some point as I got older I finally asked him how he knew all those back-roads. His answer: he learned them by joy-riding through the city and intentionally traveling down roads to see where they would lead. He would get lost but soon find that he would emerge onto a street that was familiar and could lead him back home. It was a sort of deliberate attempt to explore, get lost, and discover new things before finding his way again. What a risk!

Being older now, I recognize the strong link between his success, his faith, and his fearlessness — three essential factors of life. He was never afraid to get lost because, despite which way he turned, he had a strong confidence that he was never truly lost. Such a profound lesson and thought: (1) Be willing to get lost; you never know what successes, shortcuts, and opportunity you will find around the corner. (2) Don’t panic if you find yourself on an unknown street; the worst that can happen is you retrace your steps, ask for directions, or keep going until you see a sign of familiarity.

Reminiscing about these excursions made me think about the degree of faith and fearlessness he had to possess in order get to discover and remember these back roads. We have to ask ourselves — What’s out there waiting to be explored? Why are we so afraid to go off script? There’s something to be said about what he did — he explored when he had time and when “I wonder if I go down this road…” came to his mind. Thinking about his faith and fearlessness made me wonder — What if I take more time to get lost? What will I find?

I recalled the many times I was driving home from an event or store and thought “I wonder what’s down this street…” Overtime, I’ve discovered beautiful parks, neighborhoods, stores, restaurants, lakes, and shortcuts by willingly getting lost every once in a while.

Most recently, getting lost helped me discover something beautiful and peaceful near my new apartment…

I arrived extremely early for the apartment showing and parked across from the building. Slightly bored and curious, I decided to see what the neighborhood had to over. To my surprised I stumbled across a private beach, the ocean, and close proximity to other wonderful places to explore. Honestly, the apartment alone didn’t sell me, but the neighborhood, water, views, and places to explore did. It taught me to trust God, life, and to never be afraid to explore; you don’t know what is around the corner, literally.

This probably is very underwhelming to you. Water. What’s the big deal? Well, I love to walk by water, see water (particularly the a beach or the ocean), and sit by water. There is just something very calming about watching the waves, wondering about the life that lives beneath, and enjoying a sunset reflecting off the subtle waves. It’s peaceful and makes me wonder about life, God, balance, and physical and mental relaxation.

Now if I can only do a better job of applying this to my goals and dreams; I wonder what I will find…

Related Posts:

On the Other Side of Fear

GPS: Shut Up And Fly

Picture Perfect Puzzle Pieces

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The Plan: Update #1

Published on February 11, 2016March 7, 2016 by thelifemebloggerLeave a comment

Hello Friends! It’s time for the monthly check-in on my goals.

Is it just me or do you find it somewhat cathartic to think that each new year, month, day creates an opportunity to try again, restart, revise, adjust, and/or shift mental focus based on new information? Well I do! It is so reassuring to know that I don’t have to be perfect in achieving my goals every single day. There’s hope in knowing that when I stumble I can get back up, dust myself off, drink a refreshing glass of mental boost juice, and get back toward chipping away at my goals.

Since reflection is essential to this process, I am going to review my progress for each goal, the challenges I have faced with being constant with each, and some lessons I have learned and applied along the way.

Summary: Well, let’s start with the fact that my first monthly update includes some successes and quite a few areas that I need to continue building toward for the remainder of the year. Overall, however, I am very excited about the prospect of successfully completing all of my goals (or at least making significant growth in each area). I am not going to lie; this whole resolution thing is not completely my style, but setting goals and making plans to achieve them is totally my thing, even if I don’t always execute them the way I would prefer.

For those of you that are new to the blog, here are the goals I set for this year— and likely the foreseeable few years, if I’m honest. If you would like to read more about how I arrived at these goals, read the first blog post here.

Pray/Mediate More ⇒ Update: I’m not sure if it’s just me, but quiet time is surely not something that rolls around frequently in a day, or even in a week. Time to meditate and pray has not been knocking on my door asking me to come out and play. Rather, it prefers to play hide and seek and wait for me to come and find it. I want to come out and play most times, but other times I become so busy that forget mediation/pray time wants to engage my attention and energy. Needless to say, I have only been successful in those instances when I have taken deliberate steps to make this goal a priority. I’ve always naturally taken short moments to acknowledge inner peace, God, seek spiritual direction, etc., but not as much I would like to. I have learned that taking time the night before or first thing in the morning to set the direction for the day (through checklist or notes) increases the likelihood that I will stop and slow life down at some point throughout the day. The more self-aware I am about how I am spending my time is the more successful I am in the choices I make.

Read More ⇒ Update: The first two weeks were great! I was meeting the goal of reading for at least 30 minutes a day. And then, boom… inconsistency led to complete stagnation. It moved from being in my top 3 daily priorities to number 10. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating with the scale here, but you get the point. Sadly, my stagnation has not been due to a lack of 30 minutes to spend on reading; mostly, it is due to life becoming hectic and me becoming less likely to remember to read. Intentionally, writing it down on my to-do list is the only thing that will remind me to stop and read at the end of the day instead of hoping on YouTube. Can anyone relate? Are there times when you simply don’t achieve a goal because you forgot about it as a priority during the whirlwind of life? What goals have you forgotten about?

Be More Fearless + Dream Bigger ⇒ Update: My progress on this one is a little hard to describe in 100% action for the first month because it really begins with an internal mental shift that is often intangible. It’s an attitude, a feeling, a boldness, and often an editing of negative self-talk that removes the mental barriers and past experiences that limit us. I’ve always been a big dreamer, but my over-analysis can sometimes handicap actions. What has helped me become more fearless is to think of a few different questions and ideas: (1) What do I really have to lose? (2) If the worst happens, will it really be the end of the world? (3) And if it is the end of the world, will I regret not doing it before I die? By this point, I’ve usually snapped out of the ridiculous nagging fear and been kicked into gear. Inspired by Nike’s slogan, I tell myself to get out of my own way and “just do it” by focusing on actions and plans. This has helped me get over the virus of fear paralysis. If life is more like a book, I am encouraging myself to entertain the idea of how I would feel at the end of my life if someone told me that I could have written a more amazing story if only I hadn’t been so afraid.

Be More Organized ⇒ Update: I can check this goal off simply because it says “more,” right? So far, I have been slightly more organized than before so technically it’s a win! Ok, I’m kidding; clearly I am going to put more effort and work into this area. It’s not that my life is a jumbled mess; it’s more about knowing that if I want to accomplish more then I have to be more organized and intentional with my time. Successfully, I have become more organized with my time to make sure that I am prioritizing things like bringing enough food to work for lunch and snacks, having time to hit the gym, and making to-do list. However, stopping to eat at the right times at work and checking off everything on my to-do list still needs some improvement. Another positive is that I started the year with a winter cleaning of my house and was quite organized until the receipts, clothes near my closet, junk mail, and other little annoying items started creeping back into my living space! Needless to say, its time to refresh a bit with a few dedicated de-clutter/tidy hours.

Travel More ⇒ Update: So far so good folks!

I finally pulled the trigger and just did it. Before I was always waiting for the perfect time and the perfect price. In the past, there I would sit wasting hours of me daydreaming, surfing the web, and then being too indecisive to just book something and start counting down. Traveling is definitely expensive, but what I realized about myself is that seeing new places, eating good food (of any price range), feeling new energy, and relaxing is really my ideal getaway. Therefore, it doesn’t have to always be an exotic island or extremely expense and far away. I started with a weekend getaway to New York City! I have always loved the energy there and it’s only 4 hours away from my home. Honestly, there’s so much to discover and explore in NY that I could probably go every weekend for the next year and still not experience everything the entire city has to offer in terms of entertainment, food, and fun. The next stop is Las Vegas next week and New Orleans in March. I will let you know all about it, so stay tuned to this journey.

Maintain and Cultivate More Quality Relationships ⇒ Update: Of course, this is a lifelong and on-going goal, but its important to become more aware of who and what I am giving my precious life moments too. I’ve become more conscious about saying yes to (and creating) more friend-related gatherings. It’s hard for me not to allow the rat-race of life and hectic work schedule from getting in the way of spending time with other people. Keeping up to date with people in life really makes a big difference to our overall well-being. One lesson that I have learned in this area is the importance of being intentional about enjoying the moments with those I love, even if they are shorter than I would prefer. When dealing with my relationship, friends, and family, I’ve continued to notice that having moments of love, openness, support, and positive energy — of any length of time — refreshes my mind and energy way better than any cup of coffee ever could.

Write More ⇒ Update: Well, seeing that my last blog post before this one was over a month ago, I would safely say that I haven’t been too successful in this area for the initial part of the year. I’ve definitely written more for work-related purposes, but definitely not for this blog. Does that count? Don’t worry. I’m choosing to make this blog a home and to not worry about always writing the perfect post. Hopefully you’ve noticed the changes I’ve made to the blog site– new layout and a new countdown to the next blog in the sidebar. In addition, I’m going to expand the topics I will be writing about in order to create more of an open dialogue and content for me to share with you — my new friends out in the universe! So, get involved, let me know what’s on your mind, and pay attention to that post countdown in the sidebar!

Give More ⇒ Update: I’m planning on surprising a few people so I cannot say much more than I’m doing OK with this goal at the moment🙂

Regain Past Levels of Physical Fitness ⇒ Update: I’m putting in the work!

Besides getting the flu and feeling like a monster trunk ran over me, I have been able to hit the gym. Proudly, I refrained from setting the intense goal of exercising everyday until I get back to my heyday tone. I started with small goals and it’s working to prevent me from crashing and burning. I’m hoping to step things up a notch and increase the burn, but I am going to keep at it healthy and gradual. Trust me, the man would be happy to hear me say that because he’s always the one taking care of me when I over do it and re-injure myself!

Overall Lesson(s) for the month:

Life is best lived intentionally. If I don’t choose to live life on purpose/with intention, it quickly turns into chance outcomes that I am not always satisfied with. There’s no time for that, right?
Putting too much pressure on myself to get everything right immediately is mental assault with a deadly weapon. Embracing the process and the growth is much more rewarding that focusing on every little area that is not perfect.

What about you?

I know that some of you will be able to relate to areas of my update, so don’t leave me out here on a limb by myself! Share what’s working for you and what adjustments you are making along your personal journey. If nothing else, at least help me confirm that I am not in this personal growth thing alone. What’s working? What’s not working? What have you learned?

Comment below or chat with me!

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The Plan: My 2016 Resolutions

Published on December 25, 2015February 11, 2016 by thelifemeblogger1 Comment

I am back! Or am I? The last two+ months have been oddly hectic– peppered with great highs, positive personal realizations, wonderful whirlwinds, and twisted tests of my personal stamina. I am pleased to report that — for the most part — I am conquering the tests of life. I am very proud of the growth I see in my responses to life’s ups and downs.

While there have been many wonderful memories this year, there are definitely a few areas I have neglected in the midst of grinding away at work– this blog, fitness and exercise, consistent sleep, social gatherings, building my other dreams, and reading. Honestly, these areas have been inconsistent in my life quite into 2014 too.

Well enough is enough, this post is about developing the plan that will hopefully help to rearrange my priorities so that I might find deeper fulfillment in my one life to live. After my admissions of guilt, you will find my plan and goals for 2016.

Today is about “I” statements. It is time to look in the mirror and figure out what role the person in the mirror [me] has played in my happiness and progress in life. The hopeful outcome is for me [and my reflection/inner self] to (1) figure out how to accept the contribution(s) I have made to where my life is (both the good and not-so-good) and (2) to figure out how to move forward toward living the fullest life possible. Usually I am not one for making yearly resolutions. However, this year I am not only going to make them, but I am also going to make them public so YOU can be my accountable partner. This mean it’s your fault if I don’t succeed, right?

It is time to look in the mirror and figure out what role the person in the mirror plays in your happiness and progress in life.

Lofty would describe the plans I have in my head. I dream… I plan… I start… Some things I finish and for others I don’t even come close to the finish line. Although I know better, I still fall into the mental trap(s) that cause me to be paralyzed with inaction, to finger point, and to poorly prioritize. As I get older it seems more things require my time. Or, maybe it is more like I am not filtering and prioritizing efficiently. Life happens, work happens, feelings happen, I happen, the cat happens, and even the dog happens. At times, everything seems to happen besides what I personally would like to focus on in the moment.

Surrendering

Overall, I have had such a blessed life and a blessed year. Yet, there are a few areas that I would like to either better or to create. The first step on the road to recovery is admission (surrender), right? Well, here goes: This year, I had the problem of drinking subconscious excuse juice mixed with rationalization. Acceptance = My life is the way it is — good or bad — because (1) I allow it to be this way or (2) I create/d the circumstances that produce/d this life.

In life we blame other people and things for the outcome of our lives. Scapegoating and projecting our issues onto other people and things is the easier thing to do. We can’t chose the cards we are dealt, but we can chose (1) whether we want to continue to play the game and (2) what we want do with each card. I alone have the power to be happy or miserable about my cards.

Using a past post as inspiration, I am surrendering to the following:

I surrender my weaknesses and concerns over to God.
I surrender to the fact that God has given me the cards I have right now and will/can bring the necessary cards into my lives when the time is right. For now, I must learn to utilize the cards I have in my hands.
I accept that change will only happen when I get sick and tired of hearing my own excuses and rationalizations.
I surrender the defense mechanisms that cause me to anxiously avoid the idea that I played a part in those less than desirable areas of my life.
I surrender being upset about the things I cannot control.

Mental Adjustments

It is necessary to consider the honest reasons that we didn’t accomplish some of our 2015 personal goals. Here are some things I have learned during my reflection about progress, growth, and feeling lost in a whirlwind of deadlines and work/life expectations:

Change will happen when I get sick of hearing my own excuses.
Change will happen when I realize I’ve been talking about it for so long, yet have no real results to show for it.
Growth will happen when I am willing to slow down, readjust, and go at my own life pace.
Growth will happen when I don’t get frustrated when I don’t see immediate results.

Pre-Plan:

If you are interested in joining me, comment below, comment on Facebook, or send me an email in the “Ask Me” section…

Examine Reasons for Failure — In doing some more research about why people don’t accomplish goals and resolutions, some of the common factors were procrastination, disorganization, and fear. I am partly guilty of two of the latter reasons, maybe even three. Here are some of my additional my reasons:
- I could have used my time more efficiently.
- I did not prioritize healthy lifestyles choices.
- I thought about worse case scenarios too much.
- I allowed fear to dominate my thinking at times.
- I was paralyzed by frustration at times.
- I worried too much about what people might think about me or my decisions.
- I kept to myself too much and became consumed with work and my own life.
Health Check — Before we make this next push toward new goals, make sure that you are physically healthy. Any overdue doctor’s appointments? Book those appointments.
Practice — Start practicing saying “no.” Sometimes it is just as important to say “no” as it is to say “yes” because sticking to goals takes sacrifice and discipline. We will have to prioritize our goals and schedule, so it is inevitable that will have to say “no” to things that take us away from our focus(es).
Commit — Prepare to commit. That means saying “yes” despite fear, challenges, and pain. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
Anticipate Challenges — Feeling tired is natural which means it happens to everyone. Sometimes the only way to push through doing something when we are tired will be to do it anyway. I know, it sucks…
Get Rid of Guilt — Never regret putting your health, goals, or plans first especially if those plans are what’s best for you.
Let It Go — We can no longer focus on the past as justification for why we cannot accomplish more.
Plan — Create a plan and make check-in time tables.
Partner Up — Find accountability measures if necessary.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made.

The Plan: 2016 Goals

Step 1: State the plan — Write it out, don’t just keep it in your head. Make it public to add more incentive!

Here is my plan:

Pray/Mediate More
Read More
Be More Fearless
Be More Organized
Travel More
Maintain and Cultivate More Quality Relationships
Write More
Give More
Regain Past Levels of Physical Fitness
Dream Bigger

Step 2: Create accountability measures — Using people, timers, calendar remainders, etc. Make sure you have a plan to remember your goals! Trust me, life will get hectic and you will lose track of time. So far, I have a fitness fanatic friend texting me every week to ask me about my fitness progress. For the other goals, I am going to use you, the readers, as my accountability. Feel free to ask me how I am doing from time to time and I will give you an honest answer. In addition, I will be writing a monthly post check-in updating you on my progress!

For YOU: Tell me your goals/plan and I will check in with you to make sure you are staying on track! Let’s help each other! If there are multiple people with the same plan/goal, we will help support each other via The Life Me Blog’s Facebook page.

Conclusion

Though it looks like nothing more than a simple list, the plan is far from complex. It requires patience, passion, discipline, time management, consistency and stamina. I accept that there will be no one to blame in December 2016 if I haven’t accomplished these goals. That is why this year is about “I” statements. How am I taking control of the moments in my life? How I am taking control of my success and growth? I don’t know about you but I am ready to crush these goals!

What are you going to choose to take control of this year? What’s your 2016 plan? Please share below, even if only to put your plan out in the universe so the accountability gods can come and find you when you fall of the wagon.

Let’s do this!

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How To Deal With Frustration With Life: 20 Questions

Published on December 20, 2015December 20, 2015 by thelifemebloggerLeave a comment

“I have a lot of faith in myself which is why I am frustrated with the fact that I am not doing more,” said my ridiculous-too-hard-on-myself mind. Can anyone relate to this?

About 5% of the month (or more), I wake up with this overwhelming thought that I am not doing enough and/or have not accomplished enough by my age. If I am honest with myself, it’s usually around the time(s) when work, bills, stress, life, and my personal goals collide in competition for my time. If I am not careful, these few days or moments of the month can snowball into longer negative narratives that re-play in my head. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially when it’s being wasted thinking negatively.

Two months ago I wrote a blog post about Having Faith in Yourself. It was a great reminder to rethink the mental and emotional limits we place on ourselves. Yes, exactly– the limits that we place on ourselves. It is true that sometimes the world, circumstances, and people seem like they are against us; however, it is also often true that our worst enemy is the person in the mirror looking right back at us. For this post, I want to chat with you about another side of life’s Rubik cube: When you have the faith in yourself to accomplish your plans/dreams, but things are not moving forward in the way you planned or hoped in your mind. What do you think/do then?

There is so much I want to experience and accomplish and at times it can begin to feel like I am not moving at the pace I would personally prefer. The pace, whether slow or fast, is attributable to either my own action/inaction while other paces are simply due to life and/or God having a better plan or better timing for me. Nonetheless, in some areas of my life things are moving slower than I would like and in other areas the pace is faster than my little life legs want to run.

When I think I am “not moving fast enough” or determine that “I am not yet where I want to be in life,” it is usually traceable to my tendency to over-analyze things. In most of my being-too-hard-on-myself sessions, it is easy to fall into the trap of focusing so much on the big picture that I overlook past and present victories. Sometimes we need to slow things down, count the blessings, weigh the good versus the bad, and appreciate the accomplishments and victories written in our life’s story.

When I start feeling like life is not moving at the pace I planned, I have discovered that it is very important to evaluate whether my frustrations are warranted, healthy, logical, or accurate. It is true that sometimes we are justified in feeling frustrated with certain aspects of our lives. On the other hand, sometimes we are dangerously infusing negative self-talk and energy into our life where it doesn’t need to exist. In order to figure out the difference and to minimize the negative thinking in my life, these are some of the questions I ask myself:

Am I frustrated because I am being too hard on myself?
Am I realistic about the goals I have created?
Am I creating more frustration in my life because my priorities are not in the right places?
Am I frustrated because I have not dealt with past frustrations and issues?
Am I sacrificing too much in one area while neglecting other important areas of my life?
Are my frustrations based on things within my control? If not, how can I spend more energy on the things I can control?
Am I creating harmful frustration because I am comparing myself to other people’s timelines and successes?
Am I listening to life when it tells me to readjust my plans?
Am I adopting the right attitude for the situation at hand?
Am I creating frustration because I am not organized/disciplined enough with my time and energy?
Am I creating frustration in my life by having the wrong kinds of people around me?
Am I frustrated because I am trying to copy another person’s life?
Am I frustrated because I have not taken the time to examine whether I am in line with my purpose, morals, principles, and values?
Have I taken the time to establish what I want out of life?
Do I need to learn to be more flexible?
Am I just cranky and tired?
Am I frustrated and just blaming my problems on everyone else?
Am I really frustrated with the right situation or am I deflecting/avoiding addressing other issues in my life?
Am I willing to throw in the towel on unnecessary battles?
Am I creating frustration because I am living in a box that is too small for me and my life knows/feels it?

If you are willing to learn from the mistakes and successes in your life, then you are growing and learning! The faster you learn the lessons, the less time you will waste repeating the same test(s). Your life can change overnight– positively or negatively– so what’s the point in being stuck in a frustrated mindset? We will get frustrated; that’s life. But, we should still be willing to discover the lesson within our frustrations, move forward, and find greater success than before. Remember, you are only stuck if you keep repeating the same mistakes. Life is full of frustrations, but we don’t have to let the frustrations fill up our mental space.

What is one of your frustrations with life? What do you do when you feel frustrated? Care to share, vent, get some ideas, etc.?

Comment below or chat with me!

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I Am in the News?

Published on October 18, 2015February 8, 2016 by thelifemebloggerLeave a comment

It is very easy to forget that other people are also human.

I remember when I was a little teenybopper I subconsciously found slight enjoyment in commenting on other people’s life mistakes/decisions. In a weird way it made me feel more normal, more confident, and more hopeful that — despite not having everything I wanted — I might possibly stand on a higher moral ground than those I chose to ~~judge~~ comment on. I felt the pressure to be perfect, so it was kind of refreshing to know that other people were not. Hooray, someone’s mistakes were bigger than mine!

Back then I would not have considered myself a gossiper, but I certainly had an opinion if asked. In my mind, my opinions were not judgements but rather concerns cloaked in curiosity. Me be mean-spirited and judgmental? No. Never. However oddly enough, the most enjoyable conversations were those about the mistakes of people that acted like they were better than others. “See, that’s why people should never think they are better because life will show us that we are not.” This I would proclaim while thinking myself better than they were. Oh, the irony.

One of the easiest targets I felt entitled to comment on were celebrities and entertainers. There were many I loved, but there were others I thought to be raunchy, slutty, desperate, fake, corny, untalented, ugly, weird, crazy, and/or conceited! Most of my negativity boiled down to the fact that I didn’t feel they deserved the fame, money, or success they had. I was ~~jealous~~ disturbed that me, my family, my friends, and others in society had to “work so hard to succeed while these celebrities prance around from red carpet to red carpet like the hardest task of life is deciding what makeup, suit, dress, or date they are going to bring that night.” Elite athletes were not exempt from my ~~judgments~~ opinions either: I would say, “you are talented, but you are lame!” Of course I had no idea about the challenges and sacrifices, both physical and emotional, they had to make in order to get to where they were. Yet, I still felt the God-like right to determine what someone else deserved! But you know what? It is very easy to sit back and comment on another person’s life — celebrity, athlete, famous or not — when we don’t really have to live their life or walk in their shoes.

It might sound like I sat around all day “hating” on other people (which is not really the case), but I do recall the many moments when I projected my insecurities and anxieties onto the easy targets of the world: the famous ones, privileged ones, and the entertainers. They signed up for it, right? It comes with the territory, right? It is the price of fame, right? Well, at least that’s what I told myself in order to justify my ~~judgments~~ opinions. I needed to find something negative in order to explain why my life was less glamorous so I told myself I had more class, purpose, and humility than “those people.” Honestly, deep inside me I really just wished I was rich too! (I still secretly do).

As my teenage years passed, the celebrity issues I read about were no longer so distant from the realities of regular people. Suddenly I knew/knew of people going through similar experiences: divorces, rumors, cheating, drug and alcohol abuse, hard partying, suicidal episodes, and/or new boyfriends/girlfriends every other week. I started to rethink my heavily misguided judgements about entertainers and got the sense that anything could happen to anyone, famous or not. I started asking myself: Would I be able to endure the pressure? How do I know I wouldn’t do that under the right conditions? Would I really be able to react differently than they do? Would my attitude be different if I went through that? How would I feel if I was in their shoes? Would I be happier? Could I handle the constant spotlight of judgment and expectations of perfection? I wasn’t always sure in each circumstance so I changed my opinionated tuned: “Judge less and never think you are above life’s challenges; just hope, pray, and do whatever you can so the challenges allotted for you won’t be the end of you.”

Now in early adulthood, I feel empathy for celebrities, entertainers, and leaders. Social media has not only changed how the world interacts, but it is also impacting how we view each other. When I started college, MySpace was huge, Facebook was only open to college students with a valid school email address, and there was no Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. Before social media, we had to wait to hear about a celebrity scandal in the local newspaper, on the nightly news, or we just had to speculate about the truth plastered across the front page of the tabloids. Now, everything is front page news on social media and everyone has a comment or judgment that can be posted openly or anonymously for anyone to read at any time. The sad news is that it’s highly likely that one of our friends, family members, or even one of us will be in a position of entertainment, leadership, or fame one day. We/They will have to endure the same public ridicule that we put entertainers and leaders through everyday. There are some people out there that warrant the opinions we have toward them, but those people are far less prevalent than those that don’t deserve it.

When I look at the tabloids, blogs, and entertainment news columns I see stories that could happen to any normal person:

Rumored marital problems: If you have ever been in a relationship, then you know that there are ups and downs! Imagine paparazzi and news outlets, proclaiming your relationship or marriage to be over while you’re fighting hard to make it work. Imagine your relationship is totally wonderful, yet every grocery isle claims it’s doomed because your spouse is cheating with someone else in their industry.
Breakups and makeups: Now we know that the dating scene can range from very pleasant to pure madness. Can you imagine every dating move you made being stalked and reported by the media? From your one-night stands, to your short-lived relationship, to your quick transition to the next lover, or to the moments you thought you were exclusive but he/she is out dating someone else. Can you imagine finding all that out on social media? Can you imagine being judged for the relationship decisions you willingly chose to make as a grown man/woman by people who probably have less than perfect relationships themselves?
Family Drama: Need I say more? Can you really imagine all your family drama being front page news for all your friends, employers, and haters to revel in? How embarrassing!
Body Image: Can you imagine feeling like a fashion icon only to later find out that half the world thinks you look hideous? Or even worse, can you imagine those times when you don’t look your best and have to go out in front of the world? Exactly!
Hidden Struggles: You may not be an alcoholic or drug abuser, but I am sure if you think hard enough you will be able to identify one person you know that struggles with something similar. But, what’s your vice? How do you mask and hide your insecurities, anxiety, and/or fears? What are the self-defeating behaviors and thoughts you have? How would you feel about having your lowest day chronicled and logged as the most talked about news of the week?
Mental Illness or Health Issues: Sometimes we deal with mental and health issues that we don’t necessarily wear on our sleeves. Some are impossible to hide and others we try our hardest to keep private. Can you imagine people taking your private moments for mass entertainment or having cameras and photographers outside every surgery and doctor’s appointment as they dig and hack for your medical history simply for entertainment purposes?

I don’t know why I think about these things but I do. I think about how some celebrities, prominent figures, entertainers, and leaders in our society must feel at night when they lay down to sleep knowing that there are a lot of people out there in the world that would rather tear them down than see them thrive. Too easily we forget that people are human and deserve to be treated like they have a heart. Let’s try harder to support the entertainers we like but NOT pull down those we don’t enjoy as much. Instead of trashing them from our lofty moral seat, let’s just say, “I am not a fan” and keep it moving. The truth is our bashing, hating, disgust, and attacks say more about our internal issues than they do about theirs.

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Photo Credit: Seth Capitulo

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