Run At Your Our Pace

Dear Self,

When will you really start listening to me? You have more inside of you than you ever acknowledge or embrace! I hope today showed you a valuable life lesson — focus more on running YOUR best race at your own pace. Yes, you used to be able to run 4 to 5 miles everyday but that was 10 years ago when you were in high competition shape. You let life, work, and other things like metabolism and stress bring you to this point. (Ladies and gentleman, it is true…. 2 miles is now a STRUGGLE for this girl. She is not in the competitive or even physical shape that she used to be. In her mind, she thinks that she can get back to that point and knows that she can. However, one thing that she stumbles through sometimes is inconsistency and poor prioritization of self care. If she can finally pass that self-imposed hurdle then she will reach this goal. So far, she has been doing great).

When you first set out in your mind to run 3 miles without stopping today, I said “it’s about time that you get back at it.” But, I was nervous for you because this is not the first time you made this goal in the last year. You’ve started before with a image of ten years ago in your mind. Then, the burn in those legs starts about 0.5 miles in and you hear those voices of doubt telling you to just walk for a few seconds before getting back at it.

There was something different about today. You threw your headphones on and hit the road just as you did in the past. But this time, you said “even if I have to jog at the slowest pace of life, I will not stop” until this Nike Running App say “you have reached your goal.” I know that was a hard decision because you wondered how many people walking and running would wonder why you were running as fast as you could just as well speed walk. I saw you wondering who was looking at you and running past you but you stuck to the game plan. Although you were fighting the thoughts, I know you were worried that someone you know would see you struggling along with your little steps as you ran along the beach.

Oddly enough, with each step something physical and mental re-energized within you. You were finding yourself again because you finally embraced your strength, momentary weakness, and personal pace. What I loved about you today is that you were ready to embrace where you are today! I’ve been trying to tell you this for a while now — where you start is not where you will end. Instead of spending so much time trying to figure out the end (which is impossible to know with certainty), why don’t you continue doing what you did today — focus on learning to embrace the process!

Today, you zoned in, you took a first step (for the likely the 100th time) and you ran slowly, very slowly, at times even embarrassingly slowly. HOWEVER, you completed your goal! You ran 3 miles without stopping once and managed to do it with a huge smile on your face and in your heart. Tomorrow, you will be strong enough to pick up the pace. Then, a year from now you will be even stronger than that. You will never get to your ultimate goal if you don’t complete the process. You will find new determination to never quit once you fully understand that repeated small successes will someday equal big wins.

Life is a race, but you already know this. Don’t spend too much time trying to overanalyze the run. Just run at whatever speed you can push yourself toward today. Some days will be a series of sprints while others will feel like a long endurance training session. The next steps for you are to continue to listen to your life. Learn when you are supposed to sprint and when it is time to regroup and slow things down. Confidently stay in your own lane and focus on your own form and breathing. Your race was designed for YOU. No one else can run it and you cannot run someone else’s journey. Looking to the left and right, worrying about who is passing you and who might catch up are only distractions.

Embrace your own journey. Feel the burn and adjust; don’t feel the burn and quit. You were never meant to run someone else’s race. You were meant to master your own. As the Nike Running App’s Coach Bennett said, “finishing my best doesn’t have to mean finishing first.”

#dearself is a series of blog posts written to my past, present, or future self. To follow the #dearself series, join our email list or follow The Life Me Blog on Facebook and Twitter @thelifemeblog 

Happiness is a Choice Not a Chase 

Dear Self,

Are you happy? You have asked yourself this question so many times throughout your life. Whenever people asked you where you envisioned your life in the future, your answer always included that you wanted “to be happy.” If someone asked you right now where you want to be 5, 10, or 20 years from now, “being happy” would definitely make the list. Sure, it’s a common goal. Then again, who would not want to be happy in this life?

I am OK with you leaving happiness on your list of goals as long as you promise me to remember one important principle — happiness is just as much a choice as it is a chase. There were so many times when you didn’t feel happy. It was sad for me to watch you become increasingly frustrated with not “feeling” happy because happiness is just that — a feeling.

The “feeling” came and went and the other feeling called blah came and went too. I cannot even tell you how many hours, days, weeks, and even months you spent trying to figure out what would make you happy. At times you looked like a deflated happy birthday balloon struggling to hold on to helium. You smiled and wished that people could not detect how frustrated or unhappy you were, but I know you and I knew better.

Yet, look at you now. Time taught you what me and life were trying to teach you all along — happiness is a choice not a chase. Even more, I was trying to show you that happiness is external and joy is something you find within. You were quite hardheaded at times, but you slowly started to learn that you could bring happiness into your life instead of waiting for it to come knocking on your door.  Please do me a favor. Do not go back to being a semi stress hoarder. I am going to need you to eliminate the joy killers in your life one by one.  Do not think for one second that you are going to just coast through life and stumble upon happiness. You are going to need to work at this thing! Even fairytales are not that smooth sailing.

By the way, can I just say one thing before I move on? Child, thank goodness you learned to stop equating people and things to your happiness! You were killing me with that emotional rollercoaster. Ugh! I’m sorry but I had to get that one out. Oh, and another thing… we secretly had a party when you discovered that happiness is not something you need to earn! I’m not sure how you developed that warped thinking. We put that thinking through the lie detector test and it determined that whoever told you that is indeed a liar.

So, now back to business. Your joy is what is going to endure when you have less than you hoped for. You do understand that life may become somewhat unpredictable, right? Well, it will be your choice to continue stamping your life with the hashtag #goodvibesonly.  Yes, good vibes only! Learn to breathe and give your mind a break from ruminating on things that stress, worry, or deplete your happiness. Not just once, but whenever your mind needs it. Breathe baby, breathe.

Honestly, I’m proud of your growth. You’ve moved from chasing happiness to choosing happiness. Now, the goal is to learn to maintain your inner joy among all the different demands of life. Overall, I think you are going to crush this goal. All you need to do is remember some of the things that help you stay in control of your joy.

Remember…

  1. Organize and plan your day as much as a possible. Take control of the things you can and plan for success. This will allow you to make time for things that bring you happiness or at least help you to minimize your stress levels.
  2. Check your stress! Minimize it as much as you can.
  3. Be more conscious of the things that go well versus everything that may go wrong.
  4. Take a few moments to be thankful for both the small and big things in your life.
  5. Let it go. Don’t dwell on the negative for too long. Allow yourself time to mope and then move on. Tomorrow is a new day and this too shall pass.
  6. Be happy for someone else. Happiness is contagious 🙂
  7. Feed your happiness jar. Listen, read, explore, and surround yourself with things/people that inspire and motivate you.
  8. Practice self-care.
  9. Exercise, meditate, and pray.
  10. Be patient and don’t expect perfection; it’s not realistic.

If you can choosing happiness and find that joy inside, I can almost promise you that happiness will keep choosing you.

Dear Reader, how do YOU continue to choose happiness everyday? Comment below! 

#dearself is a series of blog posts written to my past, present, or future self. To follow the #dearself series, join our email list or follow The Life Me Blog on Facebook and Twitter @thelifemeblog 

Read another blog post on Happiness: 10 Steps to Finding Happiness