The more you live, the more you realize how complex and often complicated life can become. Sometimes life feels like juggling multiple balls while trying to ride a bike; other times, it can feel like strolling along a beach enjoying the beautiful scenery. It is a constant quest of figuring things out while trying to stay sane and in balance. Wherever you find yourself in life right now, I can almost be certain that we all have one thing in common: seeking freedom, wholeness, and balance. In this post, I will be sharing a simple self-improvement framework I have been using to help organize my actions toward achieving inner balance and living my best life.
What Inspired This Framework?
We are all looking for answers and, in some cases, the cheat code to life. When we see people who have figured a part of life out, we often want to learn about the steps they used to get to where they are. This applies to physical, mental, and spiritual matters alike. There is a reason self-help books, podcasts, and resources are always in high demand. There is so much information out there that it can feel like information overload or leave us jumping from one strategy to the next.
Every self-help book you read has a new approach to improving your life, but how do you know which one to implement first? Which ones are best aligned for the season of life that you are in? More importantly, which of them will lead you to a life that is filled with peace, purpose, joy, and a state of wholeness.
Ah-ha Moment
One day I got to the point where I was overwhelmed by information. I felt stuck and did not know what the missing piece was or what I needed to address first in order to improve my life. I did not have an information shortage, I had a lack of clarity, disordered priorities, and a shaky grounding framework. I needed to figure out how to use my time more effectively on the things that enhance my life. Moreover, I needed something I could use to act as a filter and guidance for all my actions.
So, as I was journaling and mind-mapping the purposeful ways I wanted to use my time, I noticed they all fell into three categories: things related to the mind, body, and spirit.
Then, it hit me: nothing I strive for matters if it costs me my soul and mental health, and similarly, I can maintain nothing I achieve without the sustainable balance of my spirit, soul, and body.
This is exactly how our human existence is organized: we are a spirit; we have a mind; and, we exist within a body. Therefore, it is impossible to find wholeness and balance without consistently attending to all three of these areas. This simple reminder became my new framework.
We often have this misconception that more is more; however, it’s often the opposite: less is more. So, I went back to the basic of our existence for simple instructions on what to focus on.
A Simple Framework to Help You Start Living Your Best Life
In order to find balance and wholeness, I knew I had to spend time nurturing and aligning my spirit, mind, emotions, and body, especially my spirit. It is helpful for me to visualize and organize complex ideas into simpler frameworks to make them easier to internalize. So, I create the graphic below to serve as both a visual affirmation of my wholeness and a framework to guide my actions. Little did I know, after some time, it has also become a framework to help me quickly diagnose what I most need when I am feeling out of balance and alignment.
Unpacking the framework
If you have read my previous post on becoming whole, you will know that I believe wholeness starts within you. Other people can enhance your life, but they do not complete you. Relying on other people to make you whole often leads to a constant cycle of reassurance and validation. It does not matter how many physical possessions, accomplishments, or people you have around, they do not guarantee inner peace when you are sitting alone with yourself.
Therefore, it is important to first believe you are capable of experiencing peace and wholeness, so I added four affirmations: I am whole. I am in balance. I am complete. I am enough.
These serve as affirmations and enduring self-improvement goals and guardrails. Anything that does not contribute to my wholeness or continually throws me out of balance needs to be eliminated or adjusted.
If you struggle with self-confidence or feelings of unworthiness, I hope these four statements will help you start shifting that mindset. What other affirmations do you need to practice?
Spirit
You are a spirit. You have a soul (mind, emotions, and will) and you live in a body. The spirit is the non-physical driving force within you that houses your core beliefs and values about life. In some cases, it acts as a renewable source of non-physical internal energy.
In real life, the body is the only part of us people are able to see. Through the body, we are able to act on what our spirit, mind, and emotions lead us to do. People see the evidence of our spirit, mind, and emotions through our actions and words.
In this image, the spirit is the most important and grounding piece of the framework. The stronger our spirit, the more grounded and guided we become. When it is out of balance, it can yield feelings of emptiness. Society often pushes aesthetics and physical perfection over substance. This is why you can have the perfect body, do and say most of the right things, and use a lot of mental health practices yet still feel empty deep inside.
What grounding values and beliefs about life anchor you? What other non-physical source of energy and power do you tap into to replenish and guide you?
This framework helps me remember that it is critical to work toward scheduling my days and week in ways that prioritize spending time with God, sitting in stillness with myself, and connecting to the greater truths that transcend my past, present, and future circumstances. Everyone builds and connects with their spirit in different ways. What are some ways you connect spiritually?
Mind and Emotions (Soul)
Mental and emotional health is so important to our entire life. As mentioned earlier, all of our actions and words are driven by the mind and emotions, which are hopefully positively guided by our spirit. Our spirit is like the GPS or the roadmap and our mind and emotions are like the driver. This is the core of the thinking and feeling part of life. Therefore, it is important to develop the appropriate lenses through which we view our life, including all its joys, stressors, and sorrows.
This part of the framework reminds me of the importance of having regular healthy spaces to process my thoughts and emotions and making sure I am developing productive, positive mindsets as I navigate my life. Visually, it reminds me to find daily and weekly ways to manage my mental health and develop my emotional intelligence. What are some ways you build and maintain your mental and emotional health?
Body
You cannot live life without a body. Life is also felt the most through our body as we hold stress and tension within, which can result in negative effects if not managed and released. Therefore, physical health is the final important piece of the puzzle. This part of the framework reminds me to think about what I’m putting in my body and how I’m taking care of it. From the number of hours of sleep to the ways in which I increase movement, this pushes me to view physical health as more than aesthetics; rather, it is the vehicle and fuel through which I live life.
This framework also reminds me that physical appearance does not always equate to mental, emotional, and spiritual health. What the world sees on the outside is important, but not more than the health of my spirit and soul. When all three areas are in alignment, I find myself making healthier choices that benefit my physical health. What are some ways you take care of your physical health? Since time is often a factor, what are some ways you make time to practice positive physical health routines?
Bringing it all together
In this simple self-improvement framework to start living your best life, all three areas are essential. Balance occurs when the three areas are in alignment. Freedom occurs when your spirit is whole and guiding the other areas of the framework. This all sounds simple, but it is in no way easy to maintain. Finding equilibrium requires constant practice and adjustment.
Therefore, our goal is to find a practice of listening to the day, week, and life season we are in to better understand what we need to pay attention to. This framework has been helping me assess what I need faster and has provided a way for me to organize new learning and strategies. This has also helped me find a clear WHY for simple productivity or logistic tasks in my day. For example, now I am more interested in productivity and time management as tools to help me maintain balance and wholeness.
So, what can you do next?
- Reflect on the season of life you’re in right now. What part of this framework is speaking to you the most? Where do you need to prioritize your attention? If you need to focus on all three, what are some actions you can take to start improving each area?
- Build positive actions in each area. As you make decisions about who and what to spend your time on, consider whether it supports or aligns with your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual goals. Does this fill your spirit? Does this help you with your mental and emotional health? Does this improve your health and body?
- Pay attention. As you move throughout your days and weeks, increase your awareness of these areas. We often say to pay attention to the body’s signs of internal stress or imbalance; however, we also need to pay attention to what’s going on in our minds and spirit.
- Find a spiritual grounding. I believe this area is essential to our overall peace and meaning in this life. It is the part of life that connects us all. For me, it’s God and nature; for you, it might be something else.
- Consider what alignment will look and sound like for you. Since we all have different life journeys, values, and goals, this might look different for each of us. What does alignment look like for you when your spirit, soul, and body are in balance?
Life is complex, but I hope sharing this simple framework will bring you back to the basics: build physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health to achieve wholeness and balance. In this case, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts so it is worth the focus.
If this has helped you in any way, please let me know and share it with others.
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