Find Your Safe Space

Today’s message: Find your safe space and spend some time there this week.

We all need a place where we can exist unfiltered, unmasked, and free. These are moments and places we call safe spaces and they come in many different forms. If you don’t have any, let’s think about how you can find your safe space. If you know what they are, check in with your physical and mental health this week to see if you are craving some time there.

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Thank you, Yesterday

One of the biggest things that hold us back from achieving our fullest potential is the lingering narratives from our past. The moments of success and joyful memories keep us going, but the weight of mistakes, shame, guilt, and regrets can be crippling. Holding on to the past hinders you from realizing your authentic self. In this post, we are going to take a few moments to reflect on our past—with all its ups and downs—take lessons from the past and stop to say “thank you, yesterday.”

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The Importance of Changing Your Negative Self-Talk

Words have power. Therefore, it’s crucial to keep working on changing your negative self-talk.

Growing up you might have heard the expression, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Well, I’m here to tell you that’s a lie. The sooner we accept this is the sooner we can start to acknowledge the impact words have had on us throughout our lives and start healing and changing the way we speak to ourselves.

For the sake of this post, let’s think about words like seeds that we plant into our lives. The seeds we water will grow, and those that we don’t water will die. It’s simple as that. If we feed the negative self-talk, it will grow. If we feed the positive that will grow.

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10 Signs It’s Time to Hit The Reset Button

Life is a marathon, a journey that will inevitably bring many ups and downs. And, if you’ve been on this journey for any amount of time, you know that there are times when you just need to hit the reset button so that you can keep moving forward with strength, focus, stamina, and even passion in your life. 

For a long time, the thought of voluntarily hitting the reset button in my life was a little terrifying to embrace. Any time I had heard someone talk about needing a reset in their life, it was connected to something negative—a failure, burnout, a breakup or divorce, or related to a physical or mental health concern.

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5 Steps to Start Finding Inner Peace

If you haven’t started yet, I’m here to let you know that it’s time to start finding inner peace.

Once upon a time, two people—your parents—decided to have a baby. You had no choice in the matter and your personal life journey began without the perfect manual. If you’re human, then there are days when you might feel knocked off course and just plain uneasy because [insert any of the many triggers here]. In those times, what steps can you take to start finding inner peace?

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Focus on Productivity, Not Perfection

Have you ever wondered how someone with more responsibilities or demands is able to achieve more than you? No, they are not perfect, alien, or some breed of human meets robot. They are not special. It’s possible that they have just learned how to focus on productivity and efficiency.

Let’s get one thing clear before we move any further: A happy life does not mean a “perfect” life. So, be careful not to strive for a one-sided picture of someone else’s life as your measure of success.

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Why It Is So Hard to Focus in Life

Do you want to know why it’s so hard to focus on your own life and stay on your own zen wavelength? Well, I re-discovered the answer today. Wait for it…

It’s because everyone around you is so DARN LOUD!

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Logic vs. Emotion

Logic and feelings feel like two siblings that are constantly fighting and bickering with one another. I remember fighting one of my older brothers when I was a little girl. When he would poke fun at me or make shady comments, I would cry, and then sometimes we would fight. I would try to rub his face deep into the carpet, but ultimately his strength and age would always overpower me! Darn, you brother.

One time he pissed me off so much that I swore. “F*%&$ you!,” I boldly proclaimed. My emotions clearly overruled the logic — that I would get in huge trouble — and I said it again: “F*%&$ you!” This time, however, no brawl ensued. He simply said, “Oh, so you want to swear now?” Calmly, he walked out of the room in what I thought was defeat and I proudly proceeded to watch my afternoon cartoons. Next thing I know the phone rang for me, twice. First, it was my mother calling from work, and then it was the pastor’s wife! That little sneak left the room to call them… not to cry as I initially thought!  Let’s just say I got in BIG trouble when my mother got home, cried many tears that night, and the next Sunday had to go up and ask Jesus to come into my heart for the 5th time in my young life!

The annoying feeling of bickering with a sibling is what the tension between logic and emotion feels like — to me at least. Life happens, questions arise, doubt raises its ugly little head, and we have to determine which we are going to rely on to move forward — logic or emotions.

Hurdles are an excellent example of logic versus emotions. I remember having to do the hurdles during track and field tryouts in high school. It was interesting, to say the least. You are running full speed ahead, see the hurdle right in front of you, and need to make a decision to jump over it. An experienced hurdler knows that proper execution relies very little on emotion but rather on three factors: (1) accurately counting the steps in between hurdles, (2) powering over the hurdle through the use of speed and momentum, and (3) proper running form in between and over hurdles.

Ready, set, go: 1-2-3-4-5 OVER…1-2-3 OVER…1-2-3 OVER…1-2-3 OVER… The hurdles race requires the runner to focus on their steps and technique rather than on trying to anticipate jumping over the hurdle. I am sure that with more training I would have become a very good hurdler. However, during the first auditions in practice, I stutter-stepped before each hurdle and jumped over it each one with flailed arms and wild legs. Let’s just say that the hurdles never became my main event; I was better at sticking to sprinting without the hurdles being there to slow me down.

Sometimes my logic dominates my emotions, and in other cases, my emotions overrule my logic. In general, I cannot say one way is better than the other without considering the situation. In some cases, logic should overrule emotions and in other instances, we should be more emotional. The key to life is knowing which one should dominate in any given situation and then being able to listen to the appropriate one.

Logic versus emotions may play out in the following ways:

  • Sometimes you may have to trust your experience and logic, and at other times you may have to let your experience go and step out on the limb.
  • Other times, you may have to overcome your initial emotional responses and rely on systematic logic.
  • In other cases, you may have to completely throw away logic and pray that your gut emotional response is worth trusting.
  • From time to time, you might have to rely on both logic and emotions in order to navigate a situation.
  • And in certain cases, trusting any ounce of either logic or emotions will seem impossible — in which case I personally rely on the spiritual.

Logic and emotions like to fight and bicker within us. Unlike my fights with my brother, it is not always clear which side will win. I always lost, but in real life logic and emotions don’t always win or lose. Thankfully, as I got older the fighting with my brother decreased and we became siblings that have each other’s back when necessary. This is how we need to train our emotions/logic to interact– more like partners in crime than like warring children. A great partnership between both logic and emotions can make us unstoppable even in the face of the tallest hurdles.

Logic versus emotions will never be a black-and-white dilemma. One thing is for sure: Whether the situation requires more logic or more emotion, it is important to not slow down as we approach the hurdles of life. Momentum, momentum, momentum! Trusting our ability to generate enough power to make it over the hurdle(s) is just as important as trusting that we will be able to decide whether to use our emotions or our logic in any given situation. In reality, we need a little of both: enough logic to conclude that our experience and technique, if well executed, with not fail us and enough emotion to feel and use the power we possess to overcome any hurdle that lies ahead of us.

Photo Credit: G. Jereczek

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