In today’s post, we are going to continue on the theme of wholeness. In the last post, we explored “15 Subtle Signs You’re Not Whole.” This post is going to build on the topic of comparison, which is a significant contributor to the feeling of being less than and incomplete.

We all have people we admire, and that’s OK. But, the danger emerges when that deep admiration turns into quietly placing them on a pedestal.

You might see their beauty, talent, and confidence, even their success story.
You watch them from a distance (or maybe even close up), talk about their achievements, share their quotes, and imagine what it would be like to live their life.

And slowly, without realizing it, your admiration turned into quiet idolization.

You began to see their greatness more clearly than you see our own.

If you’re honest, sometimes it feels like they’re operating on another level—one you could never reach. They seem flawless, almost superhuman. And you start believing the story in your head: “They have something I don’t. I’ll never be like that.”

It’s subtle. It’s sneaky. And it happens far more often than you think.

The Problem Isn’t Admiration—It’s What You Forget to Do

Let me be clear: it’s not wrong to admire someone. It’s not wrong to be a fan. It’s not wrong to have role models you look up to. In fact, I believe having people who inspire you is necessary for growth.

The problem is this: You’re quick to cheer for other people and painfully slow to cheer for yourself.

You’ll line up to applaud someone else’s win, repost their success story, and dissect their strategies like a mystery novel—yet when it comes to your own achievements? You shrug them off as “no big deal.”

You can see their brilliance, ambition, and grit, but when you look in the mirror, you see the list of reasons why you couldn’t possibly be on that level.

You see your flaws. Your quirks. Your insecurities. Yet, you conveniently forget: those people have them too.

How Pedestals Create A Disconnect

When you place someone high on a pedestal, you automatically create distance between you and them. Their accomplishments start to look like magic instead of the result of consistent effort, failures, adjustments, and persistence.

It’s easy to assume: “They’re built different. They have something I don’t. I could never do that.”

But, in most cases, they’re not operating from some unreachable superpower; they’re just operating from their unique combination of strengths, flaws, life experiences, and choices. And, so can you.

They’re not flawless; they’ve simply learned how to work with, hide, or overcome their flaws so those flaws don’t block their success. The very thing you think makes them “special” might actually just be the result of patience, discipline, or a willingness to keep going when most people quit.

The Comparison Trap

Here’s where there’s some potential risk: When you pedestal someone, you compare their highlight reel to your behind-the-scenes footage.

You see their polished, filtered, edited moments—the speeches they’ve perfected, the photos they’ve approved, the milestones they’ve chosen to share. Meanwhile, you compare that to the blooper reel of your own life—every awkward moment, every mistake, every time we hesitated or failed.

It’s not a fair comparison.

It’s like watching a finished movie and then judging your own life by the uncut, unedited footage.

And yet, you do it every day.

This distorted comparison becomes “proof” in your mind that you’ll never get there.

You say things like:

• “They’re naturally confident. I’m not.”
• “They just have a gift. I don’t.”
• “They had better opportunities. I’m too far behind.”

Those aren’t facts; they’re stories. And they’re dangerous, because the more you repeat them, the more you believe them.

The Human Truth You Forget

Every person you’ve ever admired has one thing in common with you: they’re human.

They’ve had awkward days. They’ve made mistakes. They’ve been embarrassed. They’ve doubted themselves. They’ve had mornings where they didn’t want to show up.

The difference is, they didn’t stop showing up.

They didn’t let the flaws define them. They didn’t wait until they were “perfect” to step into the world and share their work. They acted in spite of the imperfection, and that’s the part you miss when you put them too high on a pedestal. You forget they’re built from the same clay you are.

Learning From People Instead of Worshipping Them

You can still have role models. You can still admire people’s success, beauty, and talent. But instead of worshiping them, study them.

Ask questions:

• What habits have they built that help them succeed?
• How do they handle failure?
• What boundaries do they set?
• What risks have they taken?

Instead of saying, “I could never,” start asking, “What can I learn from this?”

Let their journey be a map, not a wall.

If they can do it, so can you.
Not in their way. Not with their exact results. But in your own lane, with your own timing, and your own magic.

The Role Model Mindset Shift

The point of a role model isn’t to make you feel smaller; it’s to expand your vision of what’s possible.

When you admire someone, it should light something inside you. It should make you think: If it’s possible for them, it’s possible for me too—just differently.

Remember: You don’t have to look like them. You don’t have to speak like them. You don’t have to have their exact resources, background, or story. Your story matters just as much.

Building Your Own Pedestal

When was the last time you put yourself on a pedestal?

When was the last time you looked at your own progress and said, “Wow. I’m proud of me”?

Don’t wait for other people to validate you before you believe you’re worth celebrating.

You don’t have to wait for applause. Start noticing the things you’ve overcome. Celebrate the wins—especially the small ones. Acknowledge your effort, not just your results.

The more you learn to be a fan of yourself, the less power the comparison trap has over you.

Practical Ways to Stop Pedestaling Others and Start Valuing Yourself

1. Catch the Comparison Early
   When you notice you’re comparing yourself to someone, pause. Ask yourself: Am I comparing my behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel?
2. Find the Flaws You Can’t See
   Remind yourself that everyone you admire has quirks, failures, and insecurities—they just don’t broadcast them.
3. Focus on Transferable Traits
   Instead of thinking, “I could never be like them,” ask, “What’s one thing they do that I could adapt into my own life?”
4. Track Your Wins
   Keep a running list of your accomplishments—big and small. Read it when you feel behind.
5. Speak to Yourself Like a Fan
   Imagine you’re your own biggest supporter. What would you say to you?

Final Thoughts:

The next time you find yourself pedestal-ing someone, remember this:
They’re not better than you—they’re just different from you.

Their path isn’t meant to be copied exactly; it’s meant to inspire you to walk your own.

Role models are not meant to be gods—they’re meant to be guides.

So yes, admire them. Learn from them. Let them expand your sense of possibility, but don’t shrink yourself in the process.

You are just as worthy of celebration, just as capable of greatness, and just as deserving of a pedestal.