Thinking is one of the main tools we use to navigate life. It helps us implement actions and strategize, it helps us survive, and it can also keep us trapped in unproductive patterns. In the last post, we talked about having the courage to change and continue working on ourselves. One of the daily practices that is critical for supporting that work is figuring out how to not internalize negative thoughts.
Why do I need to work on not internalizing negative thoughts?
“You also realize that all the things that truly matter—beauty, love, creativity, joy, and inner peace—arise from beyond the mind.” — Eckhart Tolle
The first thing to accept is that you are not your thoughts. You are a being who thinks.
Thoughts are interpretations of the world around us and they are not always fact or reality. Therefore, if we understand that thoughts are our brain’s way of processing the world, we can also accept that it is possible to examine our thoughts objectively to determine what beliefs, thinking, and mental models we need to unlearn or resist.
You should care about what you internalize because you become what you think. Lao Tzu said it like this: “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Lately, I have been thinking about it like this: my thinking is like the destination I enter into my GPS. If it is programmed with negative beliefs and mindsets, then my thinking and actions are going to take me in that direction. However, if I examine my negative thought patterns and/or resist internalizing negative thoughts, then it is like entering a new destination for my thoughts and actions to follow.
If we are what we eat, then we also are what we think. Therefore, we need to assess whether we have practices in place that can help us examine our thoughts and prevent internalizing negativity whenever possible.
Is it possible to control my thoughts?
This is a great question, especially when it feels like the same persistent thoughts will never end. We have all had those times when negative thoughts, especially those from the past, just keep knocking on the mental door no matter how many times we try to tell them to go away.
The truth is everyone is going to be challenged with negative thoughts at some point in their life. For some people, this is a daily struggle, and for others, it is something that comes and goes less frequently because they have learned to take more control of their thinking. One thing that is different between these people is how good they are at deciding whether a negative thought is a passing thought or whether it becomes internalized and then rooted in their habits of thinking.
If we can strengthen our daily practice of examining our beliefs and negative thought patterns, we can recognize when negative thoughts are beginning to take root in our minds. The more we recognize and reframe those thoughts into positive and productive thought patterns the more we can expand our ability to control our thinking. It will not happen overnight, but with daily practice, I believe this is something we can all improve.
What are some things I can do to practice not internalizing negative thoughts?
Sometimes we will internalize fear, negativity, stereotypes, and other social limitations without even being conscious that it is happening. As much as you might try to deflect negative ideas, thoughts, and words floating within you—as well as those spoken to and around you—some of them may get through your mental armor.
5 ways to not internalize negative thoughts and uproot unhealthy thinking:
Practice self-awareness
Are you aware of what you are thinking? If we do not even pay attention to what we are thinking, then it will be very difficult to manage what is taking root within us—whether positive or negative. One way to practice self-awareness is by simply asking yourself “What am I thinking?” Try to look at your thoughts objectively and in non-judgment. Simply take an honest inventory of what you are thinking. Then, assess. Are these thoughts accurate and valid? Is there another way to think about this? Is this thinking constructive? What can I improve?
Practice positive self-acceptance
It is OK if we examine our thoughts and find that some of them are not ideal. I personally believe that the personal mastery of thinking is a lifelong practice and journey. There are some life seasons when we will be more in control than others. I also think that it is one of the universal challenges that we all deal with every day. In order to not internalize negative thoughts, it will require a measure of self-acceptance and positive regard. In other words, you will have to accept that your journey will not be perfect, and still, you are capable of improving your negative thought patterns with time.
Prioritize time to reflect and examine your thoughts
Self-care and reflection are often the first things to get crossed off the list when life gets busy or when we are feeling less than favorable. However, those are the times when awareness of how we are processing what we are experiencing is important.
Reflect on your week or month. When was the last time you stopped to journal or reflect on your thinking, progress, or habits? When you wake up in the morning, do your thoughts just rush in and start dictating to you how the day will go? Are there ways you can add some time to your routine to organize your thinking into more positive or constructive thoughts?
Monitor what you mentally eat
It is not possible to live in a bubble or completely avoid negativity. There are people around us every day who impact us with their energy and their words. In addition, the things that we listen to, watch, and expose ourselves to have the potential to influence the way we think. Therefore, while you are in the season of trying to get more control of what you internalize, it may be necessary to truly monitor who you surround yourself with and consider what you are listening to, watching, and even reading.
Practice positivity
This might be a tough one, but it may be necessary to practice saying the opposite of how you currently feel. You may know this as affirmations or declarations. People often say that sometimes you need to fake it until you make it. When it comes to how to not internalize negative thoughts, sometimes it’s going to be necessary to say the opposite of how you feel. Now I am not promoting delusional thinking here, but more along the lines of saying the positive alternative. For example, instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” maybe practice saying “Right now I don’t feel like it, but I am capable of doing things that I don’t feel like doing but know it will benefit me in the future. I am capable of doing hard things.”
Another thing that can help with positivity is the practice of gratitude. Taking a moment to think about what you are grateful for and what has been going well in your life does wonders for a quick mindset shift.
You are capable of doing hard things
We all have dreams, goals, and things that we truly want to improve within ourselves. The truth of the matter is that confronting the thinking patterns that we have is an essential component of personal growth. This is not going to be easy. There are times when you will feel in control and then there are times when you will feel that your mind is completely overwhelming you. However, you got this!
In many cases, our own thinking can become our poison. However, today is a good day to become more conscious of what you’re thinking and whether that thinking is positive or negative. More importantly, today is a good day to start thinking about whether you’re thinking patterns are moving you in a positive direction or keeping you stuck in a downward spiral of negativity. Whatever you discover in your reflection is OK; now you know where to start.
You may have internalized some really negative beliefs and mindsets, but with time and energy, we must believe that it is impossible to practice new ways of thinking. You don’t need to continue holding on to that negativity.
As we head into the next week, let’s think about how we can watch out for thinking habits that we need to uproot, as well as how to establish new practices for not internalizing negative thoughts when they arise.
We are what we mentally eat, so maybe it’s time for a mental check-in.
life/me. 