Loving Those Closest To You

Fact: There are usually not that many people who we really share our complete-self with. Everyday we are so boldly confronted with society’s expectations of how we should behave that we learn to leave the house with a brave face, behave according to the norms set out for us by family, friends, and society, and keep most facts private for the sake of not ruining our image. If you’re a man, you have to project to the world that you are strong, confident, and ambitious. You have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and show women, and other men, that the unbearable “weight” is as light as a feather. If you are a woman, you have to show the world that you too are strong, confident, and ambitious. You are expected to carry the portion of the world that society deems suitable for the “woman,” and in addition, be the nurturer to those men, women, and children around you bearing their own load. Thanks to these demands, after birth we quickly realize that we need to “measure up.”

In all of that chaos, it can be very hard to find trusted people to share the real vulnerable “you” with. That is not to say that the true “you” is too much to handle; it just means that the vulnerable “you” requires delicate care. Since vulnerability requires a high level of trust, trusting that individual comes with the strong sense that they will be there for you – in good times and in bad times. Then again, they understand who you really are and are able to decipher your good intentions much easier than a stranger ever can, right? Exactly. Well, it is also for those same reasons that we are usually more likely to hurt those people closest to us. We believe that if anybody in the world should accept us for who we really are, it should be them; that if you make a mistake and say something the wrong way, or in a manner that is harsher then you would intend, they should be able to decode your feelings. Then again, we spend so much time throughout the day monitoring and creating the world’s view of us that when we come home to our family, friends, and loved ones they should be able to “just get it.”

Well, in the transition between letting down our guard and taking off our armor, it is very easy to hurt those that we love. We wear this massive armor all day, fight to maintain peace and success in our lives, are so tired from facing the world that we become careless in our weariness and may become more apt to make “mistakes” with those we love.

This post is just a simple reminder that the people you love are to be cared for, loved, and cherished just as much (if not more) then strangers. They hold your most vulnerable moments within their heart and for that reason they are to be cherished and loved just as you would love yourself. It is hard at times to give any extra energy to making sure that we don’t hurt our loved ones, especially when we are facing the world all day/week. But, if we are supposed to love our neighbors as our self, how much more should we love those that are closest to us? Just think of it this way, if those closest to you decided to stop loving you it would really be you against the world.

How do you show those closest to you that you love them?

A Letter from Love to You

Everyday when I go to work, in some way, shape, or form, I see the youth of tomorrow looking, yearning, silently screaming out to feel love, find meaning and purpose, and experience acceptance in this world. As I observe the ways in which they choose to find and experience them, I begin wondering who they will become in the future and what struggles they may experience along that journey. The truth is many adults are in various ways still looking for love and finding their own personal ways to experience it. So, wherever you are on the journey of finding love, meaning, purpose, and acceptance, young or older, here are a few words I wrote from LOVE to YOU:  

I know you’re looking for love and someday, if you have not already, you will find it. Along the way, you will feel the yearning and void for it, but it doesn’t mean you should find and accept just any kind of love.

Love should leave you feeling wanted, accepted, and not judged. Love is patient and kind. Love lifts you up and encourages you to fly. It is quick to overlook your flaws and praise your beauty. Love lasts. And most importantly, love is not supposed to hurt.

True love is free. You should not have to work for it. It is willing given because you are worth the gift of love. Love sees the best in you and stands like a mirror quietly challenging you to see the value and worth that exist inside of you. If you settle for any kind of love, you have virtually settled to see a “less than” side of you. 

People often settle for love that reflects where they are and NOT a love that reflects where and who they want to be. Somehow they think that without love they will never have the chance to experience their dreams. So they get easily distracted by and gravitate towards anything that resembles love and makes them feel accepted. However, until you accept and have the self-confidence to believe that you are capable, worthy, and beautiful enough to be where you dream to be, you will always accept a love that reflects where you FEEL you are instead of a love that resembles what you DREAM to have.

So, I know you will search for love, fall in love, and at times choose love over logic, but remember to choose a love that reflects your true inner worth. You are beautiful, so be beautiful, and only accept beautiful love.