What and who are you choosing to build? What and who are you choosing to destroying?

“Sweet dreams are made of these. Who am I to disagree? I traveled the world and the seven seas. Everybody’s looking for something.”– Eurythmics 

What do you do with life in your hands? Can you be trusted to build it or would you destroy it? How are you treating your own life? Are you consciously creating it or subconsciously destroying it? How are you treating the lives of others around you? 

Self-care takes on a new meaning when you look at it through the lens of personal transformation. Care should result in preservation, restoration, and improvement. That is what life/me is all about: to intentionally cultivate, spread, or accept fruitful and enriching words, actions, or energy; to help yourself or others realize their full potential. 

It is important to do that for yourself and others. You need it now more than ever, and our world needs it now more than ever. 

Everyone wants to survive and thrive. 

Everyone wants to survive and thrive—physically, emotionally, or mentally. We all have this desire in common; however, people define what that looks like differently. 

At times, this truth can be discouraging. It makes the world feel like a battlefield where everyone is either attacking or being attacked. But here’s the catch: understanding this doesn’t mean we have to surrender to a brutal, dog-eat-dog reality. Instead, it offers us a choice. 

The Hammer vs. The Nail: A Flawed Analogy?

There’s a saying that in life you can either be the hammer or the nail. The hammer or the nail? At first glance, the metaphor suggests a world divided into winners and losers, dominators and the dominated. But what if that’s not the full picture? What if being the hammer doesn’t have to always mean destruction, and being the nail doesn’t also have to mean defeat? 

For a long time, I wished the world operated differently. I wanted kindness to be the natural order of things. I wanted people to choose love over power, generosity over greed. But reality often paints a grimmer picture. Exploitation, destruction, and pain seem to outweigh compassion. It’s easy to lose hope and believe that choosing kindness means choosing to be the nail—passive, vulnerable, and at the mercy of stronger forces. 

But what if we could redefine the hammer’s role? 

Redefining Strength: The Builder’s Hammer 

If survival is the driving force behind human behavior, then the key isn’t to reject power altogether—it’s to wield it differently. Instead of pounding others, what if you choose to build in a way that restores rather than destroys? 

Think about it: A hammer in the hands of a brute can break things apart. But a hammer in the hands of a builder creates homes, bridges, and masterpieces. Strength itself isn’t the problem—what we do with it is. 

What does that look like in daily life? 

• In relationships: Instead of using power to control or manipulate, we use it to uplift and support. 
• In leadership: Instead of leading through fear, we lead through inspiration. 
• In conflict: Instead of responding with aggression, we choose strategy and wisdom. 
• In personal growth: Instead of viewing challenges as threats, we use them as tools to become stronger. 

Compassion as a Survival Strategy

Some might argue that kindness is a weakness in a world driven by survival. But history tells us otherwise. The greatest movements, revolutions, and social changes weren’t fueled by brute force alone—they were powered by resilience, unity, and purpose. 

Empires fall when they rely solely on oppression. Leaders crumble when they use fear as their foundation. But those who build—who create, who inspire—leave legacies that last beyond their own time. 

Survival doesn’t mean choosing selfishness over morality. It means recognizing that true power comes from connection, not dominance.

Building a New Reality 

It’s easy to look at the world and feel disheartened. To see the destruction, corruption, and selfishness, and think, “this is just how it is”. But we don’t have to resign ourselves to that. We don’t have to reject power to be kind, and we don’t have to reject kindness to survive. 

Instead, reframe what the hammer and nail can be, seeing it in a new way. Use your strength, intelligence, and resilience to create rather than destroy. We stop seeing the world in terms of winners and losers and start seeing it as a place where we can shape something better. 

Not everyone will choose this path. Some will continue to use their power to harm rather than heal. But that doesn’t mean you have to. The strongest people aren’t those who crush others, they’re the ones who refuse to let the world harden them. 

Survival is a given. But how we survive? That’s a choice. 

So, the real question isn’t whether you’ll be the hammer or the nail…

It’s *what kind of hammer will you choose to be*?