Have you ever paused to take an honest inventory of your thoughts, frustrations, goals, and priorities?

If you have, you may have noticed something unsettling: many of these ideas are not entirely your own. They have become interwoven with borrowed fragments of other people’s goals, fears, and expectations—sometimes subtly, sometimes overwhelmingly. 

At times, these borrowed pieces can be beneficial. They can push us toward personal growth and new opportunities. But more often than not, they create a tangled web that makes it difficult to discern your own desires from the expectations imposed upon us. This can leave you feeling suffocated as if you are merely a puppet dancing to the tune of others’ dreams rather than pursuing the life you were meant to live. 

To find true happiness, freedom, and purpose, you must undertake the difficult but necessary process of untangling yourself from external influences and rediscovering your authentic self. This journey is not always easy, but it is essential. Until you take those first steps, a silent but persistent voice within you—the voice of your true self—will continue to call out, urging you to reclaim your identity. 

Recognizing Your Voice

The first step in reclaiming your authentic self is recognizing just how entangled you have become with other people’s expectations. This can manifest in many ways: 

• Career Choices: Did you choose your profession because it truly excites you, or because it was expected of you? 
• Personal Goals: Are your dreams truly yours, or are they reflections of what society, family, or friends believe you should achieve? 
• Relationships: Are you staying in friendships, partnerships, or social circles that align with who you are, or out of obligation and fear of judgment? 
• Daily Decisions: Even the smallest choices can be impacted by other people’s opinions, such as how you dress, what you eat, how and you spend your time. These daily choices can be influenced by external expectations rather than personal preference. 

Often, we don’t even realize how deeply these external influences have shaped us until we stop to reflect.

The Impact of Living for Others

Living according to others’ expectations is exhausting. It’s like carrying a heavy backpack filled with other people’s fears, dreams, and judgments. The weight slows you down, drains your energy, and leaves you feeling disconnected from yourself. 

When you ignore your true self for too long, you can start experiencing chronic stress and anxiety, feelings of emptiness or dissatisfaction, lack of motivation, and even the loss of identity. Over time, you may lose sight of who you are, feeling like a stranger to yourself. 

The irony is that we often conform to these expectations in search of approval and belonging. Yet, by doing so, we risk losing the very essence of who we are. 

The Journey to Your Voice

Breaking free from the tangled web of external influences is a process that requires courage, introspection, and intentional action. So, where can you start? 

• Silence the noise: In today’s world, you are constantly bombarded with opinions—social media, family, colleagues, friends, and even societal norms. Take time to step away to learn your own voice. 
• Build confidence in your voice: Avoid seeking external validation before making personal decisions. The more space you create for self-reflection, the clearer your voice becomes. 
• Discover your interest and voice: Once you quiet the external noise, start identifying which beliefs, goals, and desires are truly yours. Ask yourself: What excites and fulfills me, regardless of what others think? If I had no fear of judgment or failure, what would I pursue? When do I feel most alive and aligned with my true self? 
• Let go of what no longer serves you: This is one of the hardest steps: shedding the expectations, obligations, and beliefs that do not align with your true self. Letting go can be uncomfortable. You may fear disappointing others or facing uncertainty. But remember, every time you release something that is not truly yours, you create space for what is. 

The Joy of Finding Your Voice

Once you begin to untangle yourself from the expectations of others, you will notice a shift. Life will feel lighter. The weight you carried for so long—the weight of trying to be who others wanted you to be—will be lifted. Your decision-making will become clearer. You will feel a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment. You will experience joy in the pursuit of what truly matters to you. 

Most importantly, you will no longer feel like a puppet controlled by external forces. You will become the author of your own story, living in alignment with your deepest truth. 

The voice of your true self has been calling out to you for years, waiting for you to listen, to breathe life into it, and to bring it into the fullness of existence. It may feel daunting at first, but as you begin to acknowledge and embrace who you were truly created to be, you will find that life no longer feels like a struggle to keep up with others’ expectations. Instead, it becomes an exhilarating journey of self-discovery, purpose, and freedom. 

So, take a deep breath, loosen the tangled threads, and step boldly into the life that is truly yours. The world doesn’t need another imitation, it needs the real you.

Pay it forward

Do you know someone who needs to rediscover their own voice? Share this post with them as a supportive and encouraging word.