“I have a lot of faith in myself which is why I am frustrated with the fact that I am not doing more,” said my ridiculous-too-hard-on-myself mind. Can anyone relate to this?
About 5% of the month (or more), I wake up with this overwhelming thought that I am not doing enough and/or have not accomplished enough by my age. If I am honest with myself, it’s usually around the time(s) when work, bills, stress, life, and my personal goals collide in competition for my time. If I am not careful, these few days or moments of the month can snowball into longer negative narratives that re-play in my head. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially when it’s being wasted thinking negatively.
Two months ago I wrote a blog post about Having Faith in Yourself. It was a great reminder to rethink the mental and emotional limits we place on ourselves. Yes, exactly– the limits that we place on ourselves. It is true that sometimes the world, circumstances, and people seem like they are against us; however, it is also often true that our worst enemy is the person in the mirror looking right back at us. For this post, I want to chat with you about another side of life’s Rubik cube: When you have the faith in yourself to accomplish your plans/dreams, but things are not moving forward in the way you planned or hoped in your mind. What do you think/do then?
There is so much I want to experience and accomplish and at times it can begin to feel like I am not moving at the pace I would personally prefer. The pace, whether slow or fast, is attributable to either my own action/inaction while other paces are simply due to life and/or God having a better plan or better timing for me. Nonetheless, in some areas of my life things are moving slower than I would like and in other areas the pace is faster than my little life legs want to run.
When I think I am “not moving fast enough” or determine that “I am not yet where I want to be in life,” it is usually traceable to my tendency to over-analyze things. In most of my being-too-hard-on-myself sessions, it is easy to fall into the trap of focusing so much on the big picture that I overlook past and present victories. Sometimes we need to slow things down, count the blessings, weigh the good versus the bad, and appreciate the accomplishments and victories written in our life’s story.
When I start feeling like life is not moving at the pace I planned, I have discovered that it is very important to evaluate whether my frustrations are warranted, healthy, logical, or accurate. It is true that sometimes we are justified in feeling frustrated with certain aspects of our lives. On the other hand, sometimes we are dangerously infusing negative self-talk and energy into our life where it doesn’t need to exist. In order to figure out the difference and to minimize the negative thinking in my life, these are some of the questions I ask myself:
- Am I frustrated because I am being too hard on myself?
- Am I realistic about the goals I have created?
- Am I creating more frustration in my life because my priorities are not in the right places?
- Am I frustrated because I have not dealt with past frustrations and issues?
- Am I sacrificing too much in one area while neglecting other important areas of my life?
- Are my frustrations based on things within my control? If not, how can I spend more energy on the things I can control?
- Am I creating harmful frustration because I am comparing myself to other people’s timelines and successes?
- Am I listening to life when it tells me to readjust my plans?
- Am I adopting the right attitude for the situation at hand?
- Am I creating frustration because I am not organized/disciplined enough with my time and energy?
- Am I creating frustration in my life by having the wrong kinds of people around me?
- Am I frustrated because I am trying to copy another person’s life?
- Am I frustrated because I have not taken the time to examine whether I am in line with my purpose, morals, principles, and values?
- Have I taken the time to establish what I want out of life?
- Do I need to learn to be more flexible?
- Am I just cranky and tired?
- Am I frustrated and just blaming my problems on everyone else?
- Am I really frustrated with the right situation or am I deflecting/avoiding addressing other issues in my life?
- Am I willing to throw in the towel on unnecessary battles?
- Am I creating frustration because I am living in a box that is too small for me and my life knows/feels it?
If you are willing to learn from the mistakes and successes in your life, then you are growing and learning! The faster you learn the lessons, the less time you will waste repeating the same test(s). Your life can change overnight– positively or negatively– so what’s the point in being stuck in a frustrated mindset? We will get frustrated; that’s life. But, we should still be willing to discover the lesson within our frustrations, move forward, and find greater success than before. Remember, you are only stuck if you keep repeating the same mistakes. Life is full of frustrations, but we don’t have to let the frustrations fill up our mental space.
What is one of your frustrations with life? What do you do when you feel frustrated? Care to share, vent, get some ideas, etc.?
Comment below or chat with me!
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