Dealing with Crappy and Sh*tty Stuff

I was talking to my cousin the other day about some shitty things that have been happening in my life lately. Well, it’s more like crappy things happening to someone else that in turn affected me. I guess this area of my life has just been somewhat of an adventurous ride recently. Naturally, at this point, I feel the need to say that by no means is it the end of the world or a life-shattering development, but it still has the slight smell of crap (and what others might call “shit.”)

After discussing my anticipated responses to the situation, the therapist in her pointed out that the positive current moving through my mind was something to be proud of. I was a little surprised by her response because despite seeing myself as a positive person I know there are many people out there more positive than even me. Yes, I made the cardinal mistake of comparing my crappy situation and reaction to other people and I minimized my feelings to the too-often-heard phrase “someone always has it worse.” Nonetheless, I took the compliment and listened.

“Not everyone knows how to see their way out of a situation,” she said. She continued to remind me that too often people become overwhelmed by the moment as if given situations are the end of the world. As she spoke I couldn’t help but think about all the times that I too have been in those situations. I recalled all the times when I felt overwhelmed by the ignorance of tomorrow all complicated by the “what the heck am I going to do” thoughts. I also imagined all the moments in the future when I might be guilty of thinking that circumstances are the end of the world. However, as she spoke I realized the reason I was able to change my thinking from overwhelming and paralyzing to hopeful and positive. The answer: I had the privilege of living through enough tough moments to notice that they never actually were the end of the world.

In some way, time does have a slightly healing quality to it. If we allow ourselves to learn and mature in and from situations, wounds/pain are eased in time, forgiveness is given, solutions are found, true love is discovered, and success is achieved. Inevitably, I will continue to have crappy moments in my life, but as I get older I have discovered that I don’t have to let my life become crap because of one crappy moment.

There is definitely something to be noted about the perseverance and success of people who find the positive in any given situation (even if they have to dig deep to find it). For me, faith separates the times when I am more positive from the times I am more negative. Most people associate faith with God (which I personally do), but being hopeful doesn’t necessarily have to be that deep. I still doubt, question, get depressed, and discouraged about crappy situations, but I always try to conclude my personal pity party with positivity and hope. I figure if this is a life test to see if I am capable of handling more success I had better try to pass it by rolling with the punches, cleaning off the crap, and adjusting for the next move.

I remember reading about this man named Job in the Bible when I was younger. His life was utterly destroyed. Although he was a worthy man, he still experienced the loss of almost everything. Oddly enough the people around him were trying to get him to blame God and denounce his faith. He did end up crying and mourning his loss, but ultimately he never gave up his faith. I don’t know why but that story always stuck with me.

Ultimately, when I look around me I see both people who believe that life will get better and those that believe life will always SUCK. In the end, crappy things do happen to everyone. Maybe I am delusional but believing there is always some light at the end of the tunnel, even if I can’t see it at the moment, helps me eventually get through crappy times. The good news is that for most crappy situations I have experienced thus far,  I can definitely say that there has always been a lesson, a blessing, or something greater on the other side in due time.

How do you get through crappy times?

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